CONSCIOUS COMMUNICATIONS CLASS
Suggested Donation $10-$25. No one turned
away for lack of funds.
Let us know
planning on attending. Please call 808-244-4103
email@example.com to register for your meeting.
calendar for dates
- Mondays, 7 PM
a practicing Gestalt facilitator for over
30 years, leads men in experiences that lead to direct,
authentic mutually-satisfying communication with each other
about their feelings, women, relationships, sex and play using
the following Gestalt Ideals as guidelines.
[Naranjo, C., 1970, 'Present Centeredness: Technique, Prescription
and Ideal' in Fagen, J. and Shepherd, I., (eds.),
Gestalt Therapy Now]
concerned with the present, rather than past or future. Deal with who
and what is present, rather than who and what is absent.
Experience the REAL in your life now; do not replace your body
experience what you imagine.
Come to your senses; TASTE, HEAR, FEEL, and SEE your life right now rather
than mainly thinking about it analyzing it.
EXPRESS your needs without manipulating, explaining, or judging.
Fully feel and show your PAIN and PLEASURE.
Make your own CHOICES; accept no "shoulds' from others.
Take RESPONSIBILITY for your actions, feelings and thoughts.
BE WHO YOU ARE.
One of the most effective strategies I've experienced for loving
communication is Compassionate Communications, CC. It's based on Rosenberg,
M., 1991, Nonviolent Communication (Puddledancer, CA).
CC's four parts are
1. observe without evaluating,
2. share feelings,
3. state needs and
4. request, without demanding, what you need right now.
CC may be expressed in words, facial expressions, body language, gestures,
or just understood silently, when you internally experience empathy for one
another's feelings and needs.
You and your lover open each of the energy centers in your bodies--your
chakras--more when you and they see and hear each other without blame or
judgement, when you each state how you feel about what you observe, then
express what you need, value, seek and feel, as well as the thoughts that
evoke your feelings and, finally, when you listen empathetically to one
another's requests for immediate response.
CC helps you and your lovers meet your needs at the first chakra, your
health, safety, belonging and security center. CC builds security and
safety: you learn you can count on each other to reveal your truths so you
know what each of you is feeling and know these emotions will be expressed
kindly. You directly observe and share your emotional reactions to one
another's exercise, eating, and health practices. You each connect your
needs to the emotional reactions you have to each other's health practices.
As a consequence, you feel closer to each other. Closer, you're better
meeting each other's belonging needs. And belonging's essential to first
For your second chakras, sex, CC makes things clear and better immediately,
as you each express your sexual needs and feel them received empathetically.
Third chakra, power, is served by the respect inherent in CC; CC incentives
each of you to take your due in life and honor each other's paths.
Your hearts, Chakra Four, of course, open more fully as you give and receive
CC and feel seen, felt, empathized with, and accommodated enthusiastically
in your requests. CC improves Chakra
Five (Communication) contact as you express empathy and request
CC facilitates clarity, Chakra Six, deepening your understanding of each
other as you practice intuiting each other's feelings and needs and
requesting feedback on your intuitions. At the level of this chakra, which
is also the vision chakra, CC focus you on clarity of perception: what you
see and hear, the first step in CC.
Your Spiritual Chakras, Seven, open up as you increasingly experience your
oneness with each other and all humanity through CC's simple expedient of
observe, share emotion, request what you need.
Notice (and write up) a negative emotional reaction you have to the behavior
of your lover or a friend.
a.) Tell her or him what you saw or heard her or him do or say. Then
Then b.) say how you felt when you saw or heard the behavior you reacted to
Next, c) share what ideas, hopes, fears, wants, needs or values of yours
touched off your emotional response to his or her behavior.
Then d) request--without any implicit punishment for noncompliance--specific
behaviors (in the present moment) of your lover or friend that would meet
the need in you that his or her behavior triggered.
e) Ask your lover/friend to give you feedback on her or his reaction to
steps a, b, c and d above.