Welcome to Dr. Sasha and Janet Lessin's School of Counseling
and School of Tantra's Synergy
Newsletter. Synergy comes out every 4 - 6
weeks. To subscribe, click the hotlink above and
follow the instructions. We have created our
distribution list on a service called onelist.com. You
register first with onelist, then you can register for Synergy Newsletter.
The School of Tantra has a new web site: schooloftantra.com.
We are about half done transferring all the data from our
old site http://www.aloha.net/~alessin/
(which is still up). We are constantly adding new articles, services and products
and are actively seeking to synergize with others to bring the latest in tantra and healing to the
We welcome your ideas and will consider featuring
your healing services, products, seminars, ideas or articles
and exchange banners and
link to one another. Write Janet, email@example.com.
Take a look at The Tantra Connection, a place for
tantrically-minded people to connect with one another. Find someone to love, study
with, attend a seminar, etc. To sign up, please follow
the link below:
We embark on our annual Summer tour of
the Mainland where we will present seminars at both the East
and West Coast Loving More Conferences. At
these annual conferences several hundred people discuss
changing relationship trends and the movement from the traditional
models of cheating monogamy to honest polyamory (loving more than one in an
intimate relationship). Polyamorist
meet date, mate, talk and relate and discover more about
the lifestyle and what it means to them,
their families and their communities.
At these conferences we present two programs; one on Voice
Dialogue (a system of developing a Center and honoring
all your inner voices)
and another on Polyamory and the Media, discussing Leeza
Gibbons Show, Inside Edition, Time Zone
International and Extra, the four TV shows on
which we appeared this year:.
To sign up for the Loving More Conferences, click here: http://www.lovemore.com.
At the East Coast Conference we are leading the post
conference called Tantra
& Heart Talk.
We'll spend time in NYC, Buffalo, Pennsyvania, San Francisco and Harbin Hot
Springs, CA. To register for a
private session with us at any of these locales, email us at: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Last year we met many people who enriched our
lives and we theirs. We know this years' adventure will
be every bit as exciting. Please come up and say,
when we're in your town. Call, write or email us; we'd love to meet you.
new relationship options, develop
support systems, express beliefs, share
discoveries at Lovestyle
LESSINS' LOVE LESSONS
Dr. Sasha & Janet Kira Lessin
Aloha. We teach, entertain and facilitate individuals, couples, families, small groups and organizations at our secluded jungle retreat
on Maui, on the U.S. mainland and abroad.
We give lively, uplifting, informative short lecture-demonstrations for
luncheons and after-church socials. We teach everything from Active
Listening to Tantra, Centering to Holotropic Breathwork, Psychological
Fitness to Pastlife Regression, Planning Futures to Childhood Release,
Existential Analysis to Polyamory, Voice Dialogue to Couples
Dating, Female Sexuality to Yoga.
We present our material in settings that vary from individual tutorials
to large conventions, from intimate retreats to institutional meeting
This summer, we're scheduled to give seminars on polyamory (multiple,
simultaneous relations) and sacred sexuality (tantra) and whole-person
relationships. We'll definitely be in New York City, the Catskills,
upstate NY and Harbin Hot Springs, CA. We are looking
at going to Santa Fe, NM, Pittsburgh, PA, State College, PA and
Chicago, IL. If you're interested in working with us in
these or any other locations, please contact us soon and make your
reservations so we can accommodate you.
If you'd like to sponsor our seminars or presentations at your venue or
ours, e-mail us at
email@example.com. At your venue,
we charge $500/day plus expenses. The most economical time to bring us
to your venue is while we are already in your area or at least on your
continent (see schedule below). For more information see Mentoring,
Counseling or e-mail us at
We are also available for private consultations. Many times
clients fly us to their town and we work with them in their homes
or at a nearby hotel. Arrange a private appointment before
or after our scheduled appearances this summer when we are in your
town. Sessions are $110/hour, minimum 1.5 hours. We'd
love to see you!
LIVING A TANTRIC LIFE
[Continued from Column 1]
Many times we reach "the brick
wall"; and communication breaks down completely. Our
responses are now totally reactionary and continue to
disintegrate. As the tide of resentments continue to swell,
our thoughts move to other people and outside experiences.
We try to recover that feeling of excitement, joy and bliss
that once were there in the relationship long ago when our
romance was new. Many times the thoughts become deeds, and
then the sneaking, secrecy and lies begin.
Were all psychic and feel what the
other tries to conceal. Even though we dont speak the
lies, the betrayed party knows. The gap widens; the barrier
to intimacy becomes complete. Lovemaking goes from
infrequently to never. Sometimes the underlying guilt
manifests itself in impotence and other forms of sexual
dysfunction. When weve reached the end, our only hope is
Unfortunately, most of us do not have the
tools to communicate deeply and honestly. The fears of what
we dont want to create tend to backfire on us and create
just that; and life becomes our worst nightmare. The truth
comes out in hideous fashion. Or worst yet, lies continues
and were subject to serving out sentences we imposed on
How long will your sentence last? How much
can you endure?
All-Chakra living means communicating on
all levels: mind, body and soul. Sasha and I can literally
tell one another anything that we are thinking. If we have
an attraction for another, we express it. Issues unexpressed
have a way of becoming demonic and coming out in
If we have a desire, we work on ways to
satisfy them; although perhaps not in the exact way as
envisioned by the person, we move in the direction that
feels comfortable for both of us. Decisions are unanimous
and joint. If something doesnt work for one of us, it
doesnt work for either of us. There are three entities in
all our decision making: Janet, Sasha and the relationship,
which we value and cherish above anything else.
For if WE arent working, nothing else
in life seems to work. Everything else suffers: our joy, our
jobs, our health, our life.
Yes, even our life. When life isnt
lived authentically from truth and honesty, the stress from
the emotional repression many times creates being
ill-at-ease (dis-ease). Repressed resentments and anger
often lead to cancer; heart-ache can lead to heart-attacks.
Many counselors try to keep couples
together at all costs. Yet actually, sometimes the kindest
decision is to part--even if there are children, economic
considerations and a million other excuses to stay together.
Everyone deserves a
full-chakra life. If
you find your relationship lacking in one of these areas, do
something about it. Become conscious and discover ways to
expand your connection; find things in common and develop
them in those areas for one another. There are many models
for conflict resolution. Get outside help if necessary. Find
something that works for you. Go to seminars, therapy,
church counselors, whatever it takes. If the love is strong,
do it--for the love is worth it.
Finally, if you have discovered that you
have completed your developmental tasks together and there
are no new goals that you share--that youve reached a
point where the lies are too big to overcome--where you find
the resentments too deep to heal and the hurts outweigh the
amount of love that you have, then set each other free. That
may be the highest expression of love.
Allow yourselves a fresh start, love
again, correct the wrongs youve done and stop punishing
yourselves. You deserve a full life, an all-chakra life. You
have the ability create it!
Its never too late even though you may
think it is. When Sasha and I found each other it was after
two long-term, failed marriages for each of us. I was well
over 40 and he over 50 when we united and embarked on our
life of bliss. It wasnt easy for either of us. Our
journey was a long road of working on ourselves, doing our
family-of-origin work, healing our internal wounds from
previous relationships and becoming conscious through
therapy, seminars, reading and self-education. And it aint
Relationships are a process; and Sasha and
I are conscious enough to recognize that and commit to it.
We are devoted to one another and have pledged to be there
to continue our healing. If things get to be "over our
heads," we, the "professional relationship
counselors," will swallow our pride and seek help
outside ourselves to gain clarity. All of us are capable of
not being able to see the forest for the trees. Its
difficult when were "in" it; so sometimes we
need help to step outside ourselves to focus.
We now have new models of relating with
open, honest, clear and authentic communication. Living an
orgasmic life is not only possible for all; its our
birthright. Therapy and counseling are todays tools for
healing relationships and personal wounds--just like
medicine has been used to heal diseases and physical wounds.
Tantra reunites our souls in ancient ways,
combining sexuality and spirituality. We return now to our
source, forging beyond the veil of forgetfulness, moving
past our skin encapsulated bodies, completing our divine
union, remembering the LOVE which is all there really is.
LIVING A TANTRIC LIFE
Janet Kira Lessin
from How To
Really Love A Woman
Ever since I
met Sasha, my life has been tantric: full, complete,
blissful, orgasmic. We connect on all chakra levels. We
share a spiritual connection (crown chakra), meet one
another intellectually and share a common vision
(third-eye), exercise strong communication skills where we
are open and honest with one another (throat), empower one
another to do our best in life (belly), have an incredible
sexual connection (genital) and live, work together and
share a home and resources (base chakra).
Am I saying that we have no problems? That
every day is easy, pleasant and simple? No, not at all.
There may be upsets and disagreements, we may not always be
happy. In fact, we sometimes get into arguments and I even
yell! So how can I say that we live a tantric life?
What I mean by an tantric life is that we
have at last found an inner peace. From this peace, we can
experience all life. Sasha and I are devoted and committed
to one another and to the process of relationship. From
within that process, we experience the full range of
emotions, spanning the entire spectrum.
Were family to one another; more than
husband and wife; were a combination of husband, wife,
mother, father, friend, lover, sister and brother. We have
both married and adopted one another. We are committed to be
there throughout life, heal each other; overcome wounds from
our childhood and adult relations. And believe me, some of
those wounds are deep.
Sasga and I hold the space in the center for our
beloved to return when one becomes destablized and
experiences that temporary insanity that takes place when
they are out of balance. If we both become destabilized at
the same time, we ride the wave and remember the love, use
all our tools that we have learned, and hold fast until the
storm has passed.
When we cant "figure it out,"
we "finger it out" and make love (digital and
otherwise) even when one or both of us may not
"feel" like it. For the body remembers the love on
a cellular level. When we put aside our stubborn egos and
just hold one another for dear life, then the defenses and
anger melt away; and once again were in love. Bottom
line, our loves what really matters.
We recognize that we are "home,"
that our souls have found one another after all these
centuries. We stop and count our blessings; and from this
space of appreciation, everything becomes a blessing.
Chores become a blessing. "I thank
God/Goddess that I have a toilet to scrub. I thank you
Universe that I have dishes to clean, for that means I have
food to eat and beloved ones to feed".
In a tantric life, everything around you
is a divine prayer. I love the birds, the sky, the water,
the air, the plants, the ocean, my friends, my cats, my car.
God is within everything, every molecule, every being, every
This perspective lets you honor all the
craftsmanship in the car that you drive. Look at the
buildings and imagine how many things made by how many
people from how many parts of this globe went into the
construction of that one building. Then look around at your
Think of those who created the technology
for the simple things around you; your toothbrush: the glass
in your windows, the carpet beneath your feet. Youll have
a new-found appreciation for the knowledge and love that
went into all the inventions, the progression of discoveries
that led to each creation and the history of the
civilization all around you.
My life is orgasmic; and as such, my
beloved husband, my devotees dedicated to my happiness
and well-being; and I to him.
According to our tantric practice, we
connect intimately twice a day. In the morning Sasha and I
may connect briefly, aligning chakras, looking into one
anothers eyes, exchanging breath, speaking loving words
and sharing our innermost secret thoughts. Sasha may or may
not be inserted in me. He does not ejaculate so he can
conserve his energy during the day.
In the evening we connect fully, making
sweet, passionate love. We fall asleep in one anothers
arms, full and complete
As my beloved healer and devotee, Sasha
honors me whenever I request, massaging my sacred
sector as I cry out in orgasmic bliss. As I channel the
divine Shakti energy, he rides my orgasmic waves. The veil
of separation between us disappears. He feels what I feel.
We become the cosmic ONE. We move the energy in our sacred
circle: from my shrine, up the center of my body, through
all my chakras, out my crown and down, into his base,
through all his chakras out through his hands, out through
his mouth, and once again back through me. We become a
conduit of our combined kundalini energies: a complete
circuit--man, woman and God.
I go higher with each wave, thinking each
level is "the top," only to find I have not yet
begun to crescent. My orgasms blend one into another. I
enter a dimension of timelessness. Images of yesteryear
dance before my eyes. Im 20; Im 5; Im 35; Im in
As the sensations increase, I move from my
personal self to my historical self; as I remember lifetimes
here on the Earth, in other dimensions and on far away
planets. I lose my self-sense entirely; and become one with
Mother Gaia and God/Goddess, the Universe. I move between
masculine and feminine. I relive the stories of the ages and
become the archetypes: Aphrodite, Athena, Zeus, Thor.
I peak; my amrita flows. Sasha smiles and
chants, "Blessings, blessings," programming me
with the positive affirmations I need to hear at this time.
But wait, there is yet another level. I go higher. I recall
the challenge once whispered in my ear, "How much
pleasure can you take?" Part of me wants to stop; the
other part wants to continue to push that threshold.
My whole body begins to pulsate. Im in
a full-body orgasm. Kreas (waves of electric pulses) rush up
and down my spine in waves; my body snakes and pulsates with
the rhythm. The chemicals rush to the extremities of my
body: my toes, my fingers, my head. I moan, long, slow,
My life is full. Complete. From this
orgasmic state, I can go out and face the day. The stresses
of life melt away in the arms of my beloved. I can handle
it; I can go on.
Wounds of a lifetime of pain and abuse are
being replaced with healing programs due to the patience and
love of my husband. At last, in Sasha, Ive found a
partner who meets me on all chakra levels.
In previous relationships, we may have
connected on one or two chakras. We may have loved each
other (heart chakra) and lived together (base chakra); but
we lacked a shared vision (third-eye chakra) and our
communication could have used some improvement (throat
chakra). In my last marriage, we did the material side of
life together quite well (base chakra): buying a home,
acquiring things, Yet we lacked a spiritual connection
(crown chakra); and eventually everything else broke down.
The most common area that breaks down for
most of us in long-term relationships is the sexuality. We
build up internal resentments over time from our unresolved
disagreements. Previous issues from programming we received
from parents, culture, and relationships before we found one
another sneak up on us and shut us down. We move apart;
eventually we fall apart. [Continued
in column 3]
by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D.
Discuss your relationship, listening actively.
Paraphrase what you say
to each other. Empathize, don't criticize.
Say how you hurt growing up till now. Imagine you
got together to heal each other
and ask each other, "What specific things can I do
to help you heal?" Do what's asked.
Tell each other what you want and need. Value each
other's needs as much as
Center yourself and consult your inner voices when you
feel uncomfortable with
Acknowledge your defensive, instinctual and vulnerable
inner voices and
stop projecting them on each other.
Search within for strengths and abilities each of you
lack but the other has.
Acknowledge your deep need to love, be whole and one
with the Universe.
Commit to the effort it takes to make your relationship
Manage your lifestyle so you each feel comfortable about
money and material
comfort. Do worthwhile, satisfying work.
Take at least one romantic day a week and one weekend a
month off--away from children. Do things as
sweethearts--work, play, hike, picnic, share a
Loaf together at the beach.
& PRIVATE APPOINTMENTS
2000 - 2001
Aphrodite: How to Really Love Women
January 6-7, 2001,
January 5-6, 2002
Review: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going Maui,
January 6, 2001,
January 5, 2002
Sweetheart: A Valentine's Tantra Adorathon Maui,
February 19 - 20, 2001,
February 18-19, 2002
A Guy: Heal His Heart, Pleasure His Penis Maui,
March 17 - 18, 2001,
March 16-17, 2002
April 14 - 15, 2001
April 13-14, 2002
Journeying, Archetypal Messages and Holotropic Breathwork
May 12, 2001
May 11, 2002
Shiva & Shakti:
Better Relations & Lovemaking
May 13 - 14, 2000
May 12 - 13, 2001
for Women Only Maui,
Call for info
Parents' Painful Programs: Holotropic Breathing Experience
May 27, 2000
May 26, 2001
5 Days Sacred Sexuality Seminar
June 14-18, 2000
June 6-10, 2001 (5 days)
Past Lives, Soul Drama Release &
June 24, 2000
June 23, 2001
Your Lovelife: All-Chakra Tantra
July 1 - 2, 2000
July 7-8, 2001
Clients - appointments available
York City, NY
July 26 - July 27, 2000
July 28 - 31, 2000
More Conference - Polyamory
and the Media Parksville,
July 28 - 30, 2000
& Heart Talk In the Catskills Parksville,
July 30 - 31, 2000
York City, NY
August 1 - 3, 2000
appointments available Niagra
August 4 - 5, 2000
York City, NY
August 6 - 9, 2000
appointments available Harbin
Hot Springs, CA
August 10 - 13, 2000
More Conference -
and the Media Harbin
Hot Springs, CA
August 11 - 13, 2000
Choice, Polyamory & More Love for All
August 26, 2000
August 25, 2001
Love a Woman (couples only)
September 16 - 17, 2000
September 15 - 16, 2001
Gestalt Present-Centered Communication
September 23, 2000
September 22, 2001
Breathing & Pastlife Sexuality
October 14 - 15, 2000
October 13-14, 2001
October 28, 2000
October 27, 2001
Your Many Selves: Voice Dialogue Made
November 4, 2000
November 3, 2001
Females: Tantra Date 1
November 18 - 19, 2000
November 17-18, 2001
Grof Holotropic Breathing Maui,
November 25, 2000
November 24, 2001
5 Days of Sacred Sexuality
December 9 - 13, 2000
December 8-12, 2001