Christmas marks the five year passing of my Mother. Father followed her across the veil two years later. My siblings live elsewhere so I am left to create my family, my tribe here in Maui. My new, culturally diverse family is unusual--doesn’t quite look like any others.

Shiva Phre ( SP) landed with us December 2^nd and he’s the brightest star shining in my life since I found my beloved Sasha in 1997. Since SP’s 13 years older than my Sasha, who’s 14 years older than I, S.P. feels like a grandfather to me. I never realized how much I missed having a grandpa. He’s awesome and that unexpressed granddaughter part of me is coming out and having a good time.

I also get to heal racial issues that affected me when I was growing up. Pittsburgh, where I was raised, was a very racist community in the 50's and 60's, split between black and white. While my parents reflected their society and had racist attitudes, I do give them credit; before they died, they transcended their prejudices and created friendships with people of many races, religions and creeds. Still, while a kid, I hurt when I heard Mom and Dad make racist remarks. I knew children of other races and felt their souls. I knew they were good; I cringed from the lies and hatred that was destroying us all. At night alone in bed I cried over this. During school, openly defying other kids, I reached out to the minority and handicapped children. I experienced intense hatred and rejection from my peers as a result.

I adore my new eclectic family. S.P.’s a mix of African-American, Jewish and Cherokee. Sasha’s Russian Jewish. I remember my Christian Momma making remarks about Jews when I was small and I wonder if she’d love my dear, precious Jewish Sasha and support me marrying him? I can’t imagine anyone not loving Sasha. In my minds’ eye Mom, happy I’m with Sash, smiles on us.

I love our ethnic diversity. Mona, a lovely naturalized American originally from Iran, just finished two weeks of Tantra School and returned to Honolulu to pack and move to Maui to join our community. She’ll be here for good in mid-January. I hope to learn much from her about her Persian culture and get a new perspective of the people she knows and loves from the Muslim world.

Melanie, who arrives December 27^th, resembles my relatives. Mel and I met and really clicked a few months ago when she attended Tantra School. She’s warm and loving. We have lots in common, especially love of healing others. She uses Compassionate Communication, a therapy system that I look forward to learning fully. We plan to integrate Compassionate Communication into our community and learn how to speak kindly, compassionately and lovingly at all times.

I look forward to healing with women in our community. When I was a small child, relationships with girlfriends were deep and intimate. When I became a teenager, girlfriends abandoned friendships for lovers and husbands. In that time and culture relationships between women were secondary to those with men. Now years later, I come full circle and it feels like a homecoming to me. I’m looking forward to deepening my relationships with Melanie and Mona. I look forward to getting to know other women who come to visit our community and school on deep levels and experience that bond of sister-hood I once knew.

Since I’m both polyamorous and bisexual, I may become lovers with each community member and thereby experience my highest groth potential. I look at hesitations, expectations, judgments, boundaries and limitations to loving I impose on myself and re-evaluate my standards of beauty and attraction. I ask myself what makes someone good looking or not and where did I learn to judge appearances as I do. I look at what makes me think people or their body parts are too old or young, thin or fat, short or tall.

The more I evolve, the more I can love others no matter how they’re packaged. I now see their souls and open more readily to them. As a polyamorist, all friends are possible lovers and former limits artificially-imposed prejudices dissolve. We see each other through clearer eyes and chose whether or not to become lovers based on many factors rather than automatically saying no based on societal shoulds.

In my poly community, I can look at all our bonding patterns, both positive and negative. In traditional twosomes, you have but one mirror to reflect back virtues and faults. But in the polyamorous tribe, people come in many sizes and shapes and sometimes their reality mirrors back to me how distorted, misshapen–like images in an amusement park house of mirrors–my prejudices have been. I learn not only from my own distortioned preconceptions, but also from those of others. I learn to value each precious person and what each offers even more. We stop taking ourselves so seriously and learn to laugh more freely and often. As we publish more stories of our community’s saga in our newsletters and keep appearing in the media, letters pour in from around the globe showing support for our conscious community.

Sasha and I have the best of all worlds. We have the deep, intense, passionate and intimate love often found in traditional, monogamous, romantic relationships. We also experience the diversity and support of beloveds in community with whom we share resources, love, sex, life, work, problems, bliss and joy. In addition, we enjoy extended poly family members like Jor-El who live on Maui who visit often, giving us outside energy and juice. Our extended Maui family members help us solve problems and inspire our creativity.

We also have poly friends and lovers who visit us from other parts of the world and bring love and excitement as they share adventures they’ve had elsewhere and create new adventures with us during their visits here. And when we travel, we visit our lovers at conferences, seminars and their places. To top it all off, being poly, we date new people and keep finding more awesome lovers. Since we have a "two thumbs up" policy Sash and I know that our new loves will be what we both want.

A hostile in the audience at our appearance on the John Walsh Show criticized Melanie, Sasha and me for calling our community "an experiment." But I like being a pioneer. Someone’s got to do it. Our society needs new models for relating. The nuclear family is practically non-existent. Single parent families are becoming the most common family type in the U.S. Our divorce rate in America is soaring--our infidelity rate’s even higher than the divorce rate. DNA tests now show that almost all the species on this planet, including humans, aren’t monogamous. A recent test in hospitals showed that one out of every three fathers listed on the birth certificate weren’t the biological fathers.

We need to start feeling good about ourselves when we avoid self-destructive behaviors, such as overindulgence in alcohol, drugs, food and materialism to stifle our pain. These behaviors create destructive patterns in our families, communities and countries eventually reaching globally creating unrest and war. We must create models for living that honor who we are and how we really are. There’s no such thing as a preferable "normal" human anymore than there’s such a thing as a "normal" dog or cat. We’re complex and don’t fit into one uniform box. We’re all unique and must be honored as such. We come in all shapes and sizes and yes, orientations, that suit us for who we are at the various times in our lives. We’re not the same now as when we were ten, thirty, fifty or will be at ninety. We must honor ourselves and the choices we make that are appropriate for the circumstances at each stage of our lives. We’ll change over the course of our lives and need to do so to grow, evolve and become the conscious, enlightened beings we all are, potentially, deep inside.

LOVE is the answer. Love means tolerance and accepting one another for who we are each moment of time. I see so many relationships end because one partner cannot adjust to the changes and growth of the other. Inflexibility, criticisms and judgments destroy relationships.

Nothing in the human condition is alien to us. When we see others as reflections of ourselves and accept them, we relax and accept all parts of ourselves and love ourselves. We find peace within. When each of us experiences peace within, war ends once and forever.

For me, community is an experiment in discovering personal peace. I’m almost there.

You’ll enjoy the tantric sequence we use the first time you and your mate or date make love with another couple.

When we’ve gotten to know another couple like Carol and Jim well and we and they decide we’re all going to be lovers, we share health info and our sensual desires and limitations. Sasha and I then make love and they watch. Then we watch them make love to each other. This lets the watching couple see how the other couple connects.

Then I (Janet) connect with the woman from another couple before Sasha connects with her and before I connect with her man. We women need this intimate contact with each other before we trust each other with our mates because we’ve been conditioned by society to guard our men against other women. Goddess-to-goddess connecting overcomes some of the learned fear and establishes a foundation of love, empathy and trust between me and the other woman.

I’ve had difficulties staying connected with women. Separation from other women began for me long ago when my girlfriends and I began to develop sexually and began to vie for boys’ attention. Marriage and children completed the alienation process.

Since I only discovered my bisexual side well into my adulthood, I find woman-to woman tantra rites (like the one Sasha describes below) particularly delightful because they reconnect me with the feminine in ways that I have not known since pre-adolescence.

WOMEN CHARGE EACH OTHER’S CHAKRAS

Start the woman-to-woman connect nude, chanting the ancient Sanskrit chant known as the "Bija Mantra" in yab/yum (legs over partner’s hips) position. Sasha directs me and the other woman to face each other. I wrap my legs over the her hips (that’s yab/yum) and press my yoni (vagina) against hers. We gaze deeply into each other’s eyes. We press our fronts into one another.

Sasha says, "Imagine you run energy from your perineum, genitals, belly, heart, throat, brow and crown–your chakras--into your new lover’s.

"First, breathe in and out when she does--synchronize your breath. Then syncopate it: inhale through your nose as she exhales through her mouth. Exhale through your mouth toward her nose as she inhales. Pause together after each inhale and exhale. Take three syncopated breaths for each chakra (energy center) then take turns saying the sentances I give you:

Perineum. Pulse your anal sphincter. After each pulse, take turns saying, ‘I love you. Feel your base and enjoy health, safety and security.’

Genitals. Press your vulva against hers; say, ‘I love you at your yoni and bless your sensuality, creativity and sexuality.’

Solar Plexis. Touch your belly to hers. Say, ‘I love you in your power chakra; take what’s yours.’

Heart.  Place your right hands on the front each other’s hearts, your left hands between each other’s shoulder blades. Say, ‘I send you love.’

Throat. Put your left hand on the back of her neck and say, ‘I love you. May you speak your truth and sing your true songs.’

Brain. Join brows. Look up into her eyes till they appear to merge into a single eye; say, ‘I love you. I celebrate how you understand and intuit.’

Crown. Flow energy between your crown and hers.  Say, ‘I love you and merge with you. May you experience your unity with the Universe.’"

While the women perform this ritual, their men can witness it, do a similar rite with each other, or sit behind their women and hold them.

Bisexual ladies next take turns kissing each other’s yonis and stroking each others’ G-spots with their fingers, maintaining eye-contact as they do. Then, side-by-side or one atop the other, they simultaneously give and receive mutual yoni pleasure.

After the woman-to-woman yab/yum meditation and mutual genital loving, the women discuss their experience with each other and the men say what it was like to watch. If the men have connected with each other, they talk about that too.

RECONNECT WITH YOUR PRIMARY

Then the women embrace and make love with their primary partners. After I connected with Carol, Sasha and I made love with each other while Jim and Carol loved each other too.

GODDESSES GIFT EACH OTHER WITH THEIR PRIMARIES

Next, the women hold hands, look in each other’s eyes, kiss on the lips, and present each other with their primaries. I told Carol, "Enjoy Sash and I’ll enjoy Jim."

Lie on your back look into the eyes of the woman with whom you did the yab/yum experience. Have the new male lover-to-be lie between your legs, his head near your yoni. Maintain linkage also with your primary man, now lying at the yoni of the woman you invited him to enjoy. Expand your consciousness to include all three them as this new man licks and strokes your vagina and fondles your breasts.

Sasha and Jim lay on their backs, shoulder-to-shoulder, while Carol 69'd Sasha and I did the same with Jim. Then she mounted Sash and I inserted Jim’s lingum (penis) into my well-prepared yoni. Carol and I kissed as we rode each others’ men. We laughed and screamed in delight.

Flow next into simultaneous sensual contact with your mate and your new lovers. Your mouth, genitals, eyes, hands, breasts, rosebud (anus) love the mouth, genitals, etc. of at least two of your lovers at the same time so everyone’s always included. Everyone gives and gets pleasure and makes sounds to express delight. Every twenty minutes or so, shift, and love another yoni, pearl (clitoris), lingum, mouth; look into the eyes of another sweetheart.

If you’d like intimate time with one or more of your new lovers, discuss this with the group, get everyone’s blessing. If you step out for awhile, let someone know you’re okay.

When you’ve had enough sexual sharing in the foursome, kiss everyone, then make love again with your primary lover. Men who saved ejaculate release it into their primaries.

THE MORNING AFTER THE PUJA

Next day, do yoga, then eat breakfast while each of you in turn review what you learned and express how you feel about the date and each other. Plan your next date.

Tantra School Prices: $495 per week (Monday-Sunday includes Conscious Connections and Tantra Connection groups)

$100 per day or individually by class: 1 hour class: $25, 1.5 hour class = $35, 2 hour class - $50, 2.5 hour class = $65, 3 hour class = $75

5. THE BIG "A" - Saturdays January 4th, January 11th, and January 18^th - 7-10PM - with Renéée Laverdièère

Renéé Laverdière, 36, French-Canadian business trainer and self confessed promoter of anal pleasure for women is visiting Maui to present a series of informative and lively workshops on the benefits of anal sex and double penetration for adventurous women and couples. "I had my first orgasm from anal stimulation and six years later here I am leading the way for women like myself who want to know more" she states forthrightly. Renee is a swinger, nudist, parent, lover and business woman based in Vancouver B.C., Canada. The series is designed by a woman for women but men are welcome to attend the program with their partners. All of this experience and knowledge is put to good personal practice as she often attends private parties or visits New Horizons, America 's Top Lifestyle premises, located in Seattle, Washington.

. "I feel the time is right to present my new informal workshop. I have years of positive healthy experience in the matter and I have put all of this into a fun, informative and pleasurable program that answers all the questions and lovingly shows the way." says Renee. The initial public session runs about seventy minutes, including a short break. Topics include "never too much preparation", "safety", "why?","good health","is this taboo for you?", "it’s different for girls","the "A" spot VS the "G" spot", "how is this possible?", "trust, power exchange and intimacy" and "what’s next" . The information session is followed by a q and a and a demonstration of a double penetration (if suitable volunteer partners are available). This is a lively, warm, fun, straightforward, factual and exciting forum that promises to spark up the bedroom activity of all attendees.

6. THE SCHOOL OF TANTRA WELCOMES NEW STAFF MEMBERS: FRED WEAVER III, M.D, MELANIE SEARS, M.A.. & ED (JOR-EL) ELKIN, PH.D. - We are proud to welcome three new members to our staff and community. We look forward to hosting them as they present their seminars featuring their specialties in the consciousness movement.

ED ELKIN, PH.D. (Psychology, Tufts University ,1961), was a founding member of the Gestalt Institute of Washington, D.C..He trained in 1969 with Fritz Perls, founder of Gestalt Therapy. He has been a trainer and psychotherapist since 1970 when he founded "Transpersonal Gestalt" as an explicitly spiritual variation on traditional Gestalt. In private practice on Maui since 1989, he combines Gestalt with Expressive Arts Therapies. Professional website: http://globalvisions.org/cl.elkin

7. CREATIVITY, SENSUALITY & TRANSCENDENCE & CREATIVE SELF-DISCOVERY SEMINAR SERIES with Shiva Phre (Dr. Fred Weaver, III)

CREATIVITY, SENSUALITY & TRANSCENDENCE - SP guides us in experiencing the connection between our creative life, sexuality, sensuality and our cosmic connection to bliss. We will listen to music, do dancing meditation, create mantras and sing then share our experiences. In his creative self-discovery seminars, which he will do with us here, he uses the same format for all creative expressions and shows the connections to chakras and human development. December 28, 2002, 2-4 PM - $25

CREATIVE SELF-DISCOVERY SEMINAR SERIES

Creative Self-Discovery I (Self and Society) - This seminar is designed to support our awareness of how the "creative process" is expressed in our lives and various ways to understand how the society and self become enmeshed. We shall explore many creative ways to develop clarity and focus.

Creative Self-Discovery II (Sexuality and Aggression) - This seminar is designed to explore the connection of sexuality to our behavior, values and culture. Once we’re open and honest with ourselves about this, we can use the drama in our lives with greater joy. Insights on aggression and violence will be explored.

Creative Self-Discovery III (Science and Spirituality) - We shall explore how these science and spirituality interact and clarify how prayer and meditation can be used to keep culture evolving and to use our values as guideposts on our "common path" and unique, individual paths. We explore the meaning of cosmic consciousness.

Creativity, Sensuality & Transcendence, December 28, 2002 - 2-4PM - $25

Free Information Seminar - Saturday January 18, 2002 - 2-5 PM

Weekend Seminar - Saturday February 8, 9-5PM & Sunday, February 9, 9-6PM - $250

Five-Day Seminar: February 24-28, 2002 - $450

8. EROTIC COMMUNICATION THE LOST LANGUAGE OF LOVE led by Melanie Sears, January 25 & 26, 2003

Melanie Sears teaches how to talk so your lover will listen, to hear into anyone’s heart, to quit taking things personally, to heal emotional reactions, to be present to yourself and others, to resolve any conflict, and to get out of the rut and into the flow. Melanie says, "Communicating from the heart is an aphrodisiac. Without communication, sex becomes monotonous. This workshop will give your sex life fuel that will turn sex into love and eroticism. It will give you tools to transform painful, lifeless relationships into healing connections."

Saturday, January 25: Introductory Afternoon: $10

Sunday, January 26: Daylong Seminar: $100

9. TANTRA CONNECTION PARTIES - SATURDAYS - 7PM - Advanced experiential parties for singles, couples, polys or playcouples. Join us at our clothes-optional, private home with seminar space and vacation rental suites in the West Maui Mountains (minutes from the Airport) for Tantra Connection--structured parties for adults of all ages, preferences and persuasions. Beginners, seasoned practitioners and singles enjoy Tantra Connection Parties, where you meet to enjoy the music and company of other like-minded people. Tantra Connection acts as both a dating service for singles and lifestyle couples and as a support group for those exploring tantra and alternative relations. A typical Saturday-night party starts with ice-breakers: friendly, playful conversations, boundary-setting techniques and light energy exchanging
opportunities. You get to know others as people and connect in delightful ways at your comfort level. You learn sacred sector massage and allow your Goddess to free her ejaculate (amrita). Practice with others makes the energy in the room electric, exiting and erotic. Flow freely, come together to talk, say your desires and wants, give feedback, share thoughts, express yourself, relax in the hot tub smelling night-blooming jasmine under starlit skies or move into one of
our private nests for more intimate experiences. Our mix of tantra, swinging and polyamory lets you experience fun, love and eroticism. We balance the numbers of heterosexuals & bisexuals. Same sex couples always welcome. $50 per person. See: http://www.schooloftantra.com/Events/TantraConnectionParties.htm

10. JOIN OUR CONSCIOUS COMMUNITY ON MAUI

Apply to join a conscious, tantric, naturist, polyamorist, meditative, psychospiritual community nestled a Maui jungle. You must be kind, honest, loving, open-minded, spiritual, neat, clean, tidy, quiet, reliable, responsible, financially-secure, non-tobacco smoking, environmentally-conscious, sex-positive and committed to work on and heal your family of origin hangups to join this experimental community and create a new model for extended family. We model our new-paradigm community on conscious communities like Zegg and Harbin Hot Springs, based on love and support for one another, kind, open and authentic communication, tantra, intentional family and intimate friendships.

Accommodations vary from private bedroom with shared bath and kitchen to private studios and one-bedroom apartments. We seek members who can offer us 6 or more months of pre-paid rent so we can complete new living spaces. Members work weekly in community garden and grounds. Community activities include emotional support groups, workshops, parties and hosting. Applicants trained in healing arts, music, construction and gardening would help lots. Adults only. No new pets (we already have many). For application call 808-244-4103 leave name, address, phone and fax.

11. TANTRA SCHOOL: December 23-28, 2002, January 13-24, 2003 on Maui - led by Janet Kira & Sasha Lessin, Ph.D.

Tantra School teaches you (whether you're beginner, seasoned tantrica, single or part of a couple) how to be an experienced lover, sexual healer, attractive date or perfect life mate. The Lessins demonstrate and you practice the art of conscious loving. You learn techniques of All-Chakra Tantra, client-centered therapy, voice dialogue, gestalt therapy, holotropic breathing and tantra and vini yoga so you feel strong, stretched and centered.

You also:
Explore your own life history to heal old wounds, expand consciousness, and grow spiritually.
Emotionally distinguish your lovers from fathers and mothers and stop projecting inner conflicts outward onto beloveds
Experience (then lead fellow students through) imago exercises to heal one another's hurts.
Rate and better your relationships
Honor your own inner voices and the voices of others
Unhook from former lovers
Mutually uplift yourself and those you love
Free your inner child
Delve dreams for messages
Liberate yourself from parental and societal programs and slave mentality,Upload addictions to preferences
Evoke the female ejaculate
Create full-bodied (kundalini) orgasms
Master ejaculatory control
Communicate clearly and authentically; share straight-talk
Understand more about yourself, others and life
Increase your levels of empathy, become self-assured and autonomous
Learn how to turn sexual encounters into transcendent experiences,
portals to experiencing oneness with beloveds and the Universe.

You may attend for a day, the entire week, two weeks or some individual classes. Tantra School Prices: $495 per week (Monday-Sunday includes Conscious Connections and Tantra Connection groups). $100 per day. Individual class: 1 hour class: $25, 1.5 hour class = $35, 2 hour class - $50, 2.5 hour class = $65, 3 hour class = $75

* Free classes

12. GESTALT IN MIND, BODY & SPIRIT Four Friday Evenings, January 10, 17, 24 & 31 6:30 -9pm
Led by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D. and Ed Jor-El Elkin, Ph.D. who have been using gestalt therapy as a basic tool in their practices and communities since 1970. Communications exercises and intimacy games from gestalt therapy, a system of direct, authentic communication and creative play. $100

13.YOGA: December 23-28, 2002, January 13-24, 2003, 9-10:30 AM on Maui - Led by Sasha, who's a Certified Viniyoga Instructor. 90 minutes nearly continuous slow-motion stretching, strengthening, breathing and meditation. Beginners & seasoned students welcome. $10 each class. Call 244-4103

14. LOVE A WOMAN: A DAY-LONG, COACHED TANTRIC DATE: Dec. 27, 2002 & January 15, 2003
Janet & Sasha lead. In this class, you learn how to help a women open all chakras as you communicate kindly and effectively, heal their wounds, remove their (and your) limits to loving in connected lovemaking rituals that bring
consciousness to lovemaking, where lovemaking heightens your spiritual awareness. The Lessins demonstrate how to give women the mind-blowing amrita (female ejaculate) orgasm. 11AM - 8:00 PM. $100 per person. See
http://schooloftantra.com/Seminars/tantra/HowToReallyLoveAWoman.htm

15. PROGRAM FOR TANTRA SCHOOL CLASSES
January 13 -25, 2002

January 13 - Monday
8:30 -10AM CTA 30 Intro to White Tantra Yoga
10:30AM-12 noon CTA 20 Roleplaying and Active Listening
2 AM - 5PM CTA 10 Chakras & Bija Mantra

January14 - Tuesday
8:30 -10AM CTA 30 Yoga: Breath, Posture, Sequencing
10:30 AM- 12:00 noon CTA 70 Remember Mom's Mistakes
6PM-7:30 CTA 71 Deal with Dad's Defects

January15 - Wednesday
8:30 -10AM CTA 30 Yoga: Breath, Posture, Sequencing
11 AM - 1 PM CTA 24 Imago Healing 1: Heal Her Hurts
2:00 CTA Yoni Talks
6PM-7:30 CTA CTA 11 Tantra Date 1: Female Sacred Sector Stimulation

January 16 - Thursday
8:30 -10AM CTA 30 Yoga: Breath, Posture, Sequencing
11 AM - 1 PM CTA 27 Imago Healing 2: Heal His Hurts & Lingam Talks
CTA 13 Tantra Date 2: Love His Lingam, Bless His Base

January 17 - Friday
8:30 -10AM CTA 30 Yoga: Breath, Posture, Sequencing
11 AM - 12 noon CTA 73 Intro to Holotropics, CTA 75 Pastlives & Soul Dramas
1PM -4 PM Holotropic Breathing7 - 9 PM CTA 14 Tantra Ritual

January 18 - Saturday
7 -11 PM - CTA 92 Facilitate Tantra Connection Party

January 19 - Sunday
Sundown: Celebration of the Body, Little Beach, Makena

$100 per day or individually by class: 1 hour class: $25, 1.5 hour class = $35, 2 hour class - $50, 2.5 hour class = $65, 3 hour class = $75

* Free classes

All the counselors listed in this newsletter are available for private sessions. Please contact them at their email addresses or private phone numbers listed above to schedule an appointment. To register for any of our seminars, playshops, parties or programs, contact our office.

16. SEMINAR RATING CODE

A - Art

B - Balanced numbers of heterosexuals & bisexuals. Same sex couples always welcome

C - Communications

D - Dance

E - Experiential

F - Free

G - Personal, emotional and spiritual growth

H - History

L - Lecture

N - Nudity

P - Party

S - Spiritual

SX -Sexually Explicit

Y - Yoga

X - Sexual Content

The workshops or events can have more than one.

School of Tantra, 1371 Malaihi Road, Wailuku, Maui, HI 96793
Janet Kira & Sasha Lessin, Ph. D.
808-244-4103 (office), 877-244-4103 (voice mail)

Coming Soon: