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1. BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN: IS
POLYAMOROUS DATING’S EASIER THAN LIVING TOGETHER? (Janet)
2. A SHRINK SHARES HIS EXPERIENCE OF TANTRA SCHOOL (S.P.)
3. ALTERNATE REALITIES (Janet)
4. CONSCIOUS CONNECTIONS - FRIDAYS
5. TANTRA CONNECTION PARTIES - SATURDAYS
6. JOIN OUR CONSCIOUS COMMUNITY ON MAUI
7. TANTRA SCHOOL - December 23-28, 2002, January 13-24, 2003 on Maui
8. GESTALT FUN: January 22, 2003, 11AM -1 PM & 6-8PM led by Sasha
9. YOGA- December 23-28, 2002, January 13-24, 2003 (Sasha leads)
10. LOVE A WOMAN: A DAY-LONG, COACHED TANTRIC DATE: Dec. 27, 2002 & January
15, 2003 (Janet & Sasha show you).
11. SCHEDULE FOR DECEMBER & JANUARY TANTRA SCHOOL
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1. BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN: IS POLYAMOROUS
DATING’S EASIER THAN LIVING TOGETHER? by Janet Kira Lessin
It seems when we appear on TV with our poly mates, our relationship with them dissolves. Juan and Cindy left. Chalk up another poly relationship that didn't work for Janet and Sasha. I guess I could launch into story of blame and shame, if I were in that mode. There's many a story ‘bout what didn't work and why. However, it's best to say, things just didn't work. It took me two days to process the pain and shock. I'm still reeling, but it's not as intense. I feel a bit humbled, especially since they left just a short while after Jennie went back home the month before. A part of me feels defeated and afraid to try polyamory again. Luckily I have my dear husband and best friend Sasha to lick my wounds. And I also can email my two other live-in poly mates, Mel and S.P., who are not here yet, but soon will get on the plane. And there's the wonderful sympathetic ear of my other extended family poly mate, Jor-El. So what's going on? Why do I keep having these "failures" and are they really thus? Is it all my fault? And why after all of this, do I keep believing that polyamory can work, especially for me, when I keep falling off the horse, land rather hard and feel a tremendous amount of pain? Ouch! It's interesting dating in this fashion. Before, when I was monogamous, I used to "fall in love" and move through the dance of love, totally unconscious as if it all was out of my control and just as destiny decreed. I floated through two consecutive marriages spanning twenty four years that way, my head in a cloud till reality grabbed my feet and crashed me to the ground. I love monogamy, actually. I guess that may seem strange coming from a polyamorist. I love being in a duo. It seems simpler in many ways. It’s certainly easier coordinating many things that are far more difficult for polys, such as getting everyone in the car on time, sharing economics, dividing housekeeping chores and deciding who sleeps where, with whom and when. Sasha and I, in our exuberance to create conscious community, have been trying another system of dating, away from the sex-first system so frequently practiced in the "normal" world. We meet people on the internet or at conferences, chat, exchange emails, interview one another and after a couple weeks to a few months of deliberation, decide it's a go to have them move in with us and see how it works. We've decided to re-evaluate our system. Sasha and I desire to create what we term "all-chakra relationships", meaning that all the members in the relationship support and love one another on all chakras. For those unfamiliar with chakras, chakras are a system of energy centers that correlate with parts of our bodies--where the ganglia meet--that symbolize aspects of our lives. For example, the root chakra (anus) is home to our Inner Child and embodies our need to feel secure, supported and have a sense of belonging. Our sexual chakra--in our genitals and reproductive organs--is the home of our sexuality and sensuality. Our power chakra (belly) symbolizes how we empower ourselves and each other to take what's rightfully ours in life. Heart chakra energy relates to how we give and receive love. The throat chakra stands for open, honest, authentic communication. The brow or third-eye chakra is for our intellect and intuition and our crown chakra at the top of our head is how we move beyond our skin-encapsulated self-sense to feel our unity consciousness with each other and the divine. Looking back at our attempts at co-residential poly relationships thus far, Sash and I realized that none of these relationships we had worked well on all levels and that we really need a longer interview process and probation period before moving in together. We need firmer boundaries. We're also taking another newly appreciative look at the "sex-first" system we followed in our youth; it's looking better and better. After all, making love is a wonderful way to open to one another. There's a lot to be said about sharing energy, touching lovingly, getting juicy and going with the flow. Now I'm not about to become promiscuous. That never has been my nature nor do I think it's about to happen anytime soon. I was raised to go slow and cautiously and that system has served me well. However, I think I may relax a bit more and dare to broach the subject of sexual-lovemaking a wee bit sooner than I did before. I'm also more open now in regards to loving a wider variety of body types because I've learned how to develop alchemy (consciously grow to love) rather than require the chemical attraction I felt necessary in my youth. Embarrassed, I told Jor-El, Melanie and Shiva Phre about my "failure" with Juan and Cindy. I bared my soul, shared my humiliation and shame. I was afraid they'd blame me, think ill of me, believe that I am the evil, wicked witch woman that I sometimes can be. But, I was pleasantly surprised. They're all very sophisticated, well-versed in lots of specialized psychological and spiritual practices. They felt sorry, expressed their regrets and wished they could have been with us during the difficulties so they could have facilitated us so we would have come to a loving resolution. It takes a village to raise a child and it takes a community to heal the wounds of a lifetime of pain. There's not a one of us who isn't suffering from the shock of our fear-based cultural programming and multi-generational dysfunction. We all need to look at our family conditioning we’ve internalized from when we were kids and discover unconscious defenses--defenses triggered to this day by certain words and gestures. When our loved ones say triggering words, such as "You’re a failure", which resonates with a criticism we have about ourselves from our childhood conditioning, we defend ourselves by projecting outward with unkind communication and violent behavior. Conscious communities provide a myriad of mirrors. Our community members reflect our own defenses to us; they tell us where they perceive us to be defensive. When, from our lovers’ reactions, we see our own defenses we can face our underlying pain and heal. This level of healing can of course also be done in dyads. In a couple, one partner tends to dominate the other and it's easy to get away with a lot of stuff. It’s easy to fool yourself and one other person, but the variety of authentic input from many peers eliminates the bull and allows for the highest, fastest growth. You may not be ready to really take a look at yourself. It's pretty intense and often quite frightening. But if you fail to see your defensiveness and instead live behind your defensive masks, others never know you and you don’t know yourself from the feedback of others who see you evolving. The downside is that as long as one lives with facades, they never really know themselves. Think of life as a biofeedback system. If you allow input, you get to know yourself, come to terms with yourself and learn to love yourself. When you love yourself, others can more readily love you. Love comes full circle. So even though the poly ride is rough, I still climb back on the saddle and love again. "Get along Little Doggie". 2. A SHRINK SHARES HIS EXPERIENCE OF TANTRA SCHOOL by S.P.
3. ALTERNATE REALITIES (article by Janet Kira Lessin)
Tantra School Prices: $495 per week (Monday-Sunday includes Conscious Connections and Tantra Connection groups) $100 per day or individually by class: 1 hour class: $25, 1.5 hour class = $35, 2 hour class - $50, 2.5 hour class = $65, 3 hour class = $75 * Free classes December 23 - Monday 9 -10:30PM CTA 20 Roleplaying and Active Listening 10 AM - 12 noon CTA 60 Life Chapters 1-5 PM CTA 10 Chakras & Bija Mantra December 24 - Tuesday 9 -10:30 AM CTA 30 Yoga: Breath, Posture, Sequencing 11 AM - 1 PM CTA 21 Choreograph Your Voices 3 - 5 PM CTA 22 Voices in Tantra, CTA 23 Voice of Relating: Benefit from Bonding December 26 Thursday 9 -10:30 AM CTA 30 Yoga: Breath, Posture, Sequencing 11 AM - 1 PM: CTA 70 Remember Mom's Mistakes 3 - 5 PM - CTA 71 Deal with Dad's Delicts December 27 Friday 9 -10:30 AM CTA 30 Yoga: Breath, Posture, Sequencing 11 AM - 1 PM CTA 24 Imago Healing 1: Heal Her Hurts & Yoni Talks 3 - 5 PM CTA 11 Tantra Date 1: Female Sacred Sector Stimulation 7 -10 PM - CTA 92 Facilitate Conscious Connection Exercises December 28 Saturday 9 -10:30 AM CTA 30 Yoga: Breath, Posture, Sequencing 11 AM - 1 PM CTA 11 Tantra Date 1: Female Sacred Sector Stimulation 3 - 5 PM CTA 14 Tantra Ritual 7 -10 PM - CTA 92 Facilitate Advanced Tantra Connections
PROGRAM FOR TANTRA SCHOOL CLASSES
Tantra School Prices: $495 per week (Monday-Sunday includes Conscious Connections and Tantra Connection groups) $100 per day or individually by class: 1 hour class: $25, 1.5 hour class = $35, 2 hour class - $50, 2.5 hour class = $65, 3 hour class = $75 * Free classes Thank you all for supporting this work by passing along this message to your personal email list and to your member lists and groups. If you are not subscribed to this newsletter but received it through another party, you may SUBSCRIBE by sending an email to tantra@schooloftantra.com or click the following link to join one of our newsletters featuring subjects like polyamory, tantra, yoga, community, UFOlogy and Sumerian Studies:http://www.schooloftantra.com/Newletters/Newsletters.htm Janet Kira Lessin, with her husband, Dr. Sasha Lessin, owns the School of Tantra, an educational, healing & spiritual growth center in Maui, HI. Janet frequently contributes to Loving More and has appeared on John Walsh, Leeza, Talk or Walk, Time Zone International, Inside Edition, Extra and in Time, Hustler & Penthouse discussing polyamory. She lives in a poly/tantric community, an experiment in conscious loving creating new paradigms for family and relationships. She's the co-author of How to Really Love a Woman and the PolyTantra Puja and is currently writing book one of a three-part auto-biographical novel, The Dance of the Souls.
JANET KIRA LESSIN, with her husband, Dr. Sasha Lessin, owns the School of Tantra, an educational, healing & spiritual growth center in Maui, HI. Janet frequently contributes to Loving More and has appeared on John Walsh, Leeza, Talk or Walk, Time Zone International, Inside Edition, Extra and in Time, Hustler & Penthouse discussing polyamory. She lives in a poly/tantric community, an experiment in conscious loving creating new paradigms for family and relationships. She's the co-author of How to Really Love a Woman and the PolyTantra Puja and is currently writing book one of a three-part auto-biographical novel, The Dance of the Souls. You may contact her at: janet@schooloftantra.com,SASHA LESSIN, PH.D. (U.C.L.A.), a psychotherapist and relationship counselor since the 1970s, helps people agree, compromise and work out their differences. He's studied counseling with Drs. Irv Katz and David Quigley (Hypnotherapy), Stan Grof (Holotropic Breathing), Roger Woolger (Jungian Past Life Regression), William Baldwin (Spirit Releasement) and Hal and Sidra Stone (Voice Dialogue) He’s certified as a yoga instructor by Gary Kraftsow, M.A. (Viniyoga). Sasha helps lovers resolve their differences, work things out, compromise, create win-win scenarios and re-connect emotionally. He’s studied tantra/sacred loving with Lori Grace and Charles and Caroline Muir from whom he learned how to teach people to connect sexually. He lives and loves with his wonderful wife, Janet Kira Lessin and their extended family in their home/school/community/spiritual growth center in Maui. You may contact him at alessin@aloha.net.All the counselors listed in this newsletter are available for private sessions. Please contact them at their email addresses or private phone numbers listed above to schedule an appointment. To register for any of our seminars, playshops, parties or programs, contact our office. 16. SEMINAR RATING CODE A - Art B - Balanced numbers of heterosexuals & bisexuals. Same sex couples always welcome C - Communications D - Dance E - Experiential F - Free G - Personal, emotional and spiritual growth H - History L - Lecture N - Nudity P - Party S - Spiritual SX -Sexually Explicit Y - Yoga X - Sexual Content The workshops or events can have more than one. Thank you all for supporting this work by passing along this message to your personal email list and to your member lists and groups. If you are not subscribed to this newsletter but received it through another party, you may SUBSCRIBE by sending an email to tantra@schooloftantra.com or click the following link to join one of our newsletters featuring subjects like polyamory, tantra, yoga, community, UFOlogy and Sumerian Studies. You may also view back issues of Synergy:http://www.schooloftantra.com/Newletters/Newsletters.htm School of Tantra, 1371 Malaihi Road, Wailuku, Maui, HI 96793 Coming Soon: World Tantra Association: www.worldtantraassociation.comTantra Theosophical Society: www.tantratheosophicalsociety.comTantra Connection: www.tantraconnection.com
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