Synergy Newsletter July 2002
Published by Janet Kira Lessin, C.T.I. and Sasha (Alex) Lessin, Ph.D.

This issue contains:

3. HOLOTROPIC BREATHING on HMS Queen Mary, July 18, Long Beach/LA Harbor, CA
4. CELEBRATE YOUR SUBPERSONALITIES PLAYSHOP Saturday, July 20, 2002 Long Beach, CA aboard the Queen Mary
5. TANTRA SCHOOL CLASSES, September/October 2002 on Maui
6. COMPASSIONATE COMMUNICATIONS CLASSES on Maui led by Melanie Sears. Introduction: Friday , September 20. Workshop Saturday September 21 & 28, 2002
7. HOW TO REALLY LOVE A WOMAN on Maui, tantra seminar, October 5-6, 2002
8. WORSHIP A WOMAN: Tantra Date for your Darling: (article)

Apply to join a conscious, tantric, naturist, polyamorist, meditative, psychospiritual community. You must be kind, honest, loving, open-minded, spiritual, neat, clean, tidy, quiet, reliable, responsible, financially-secure, non-tobacco smoking, environmentally-conscious, sex-positive and committed to work on and heal your family of origin hangups to join this experimental community and create a new model for extended family. We model our new-paradigm community on conscious communities like Zegg and Harbin Hot Springs, based on love and support for one another, kind, open and authentic communication, tantra, intentional family and intimate friendships. Accommodations vary from private bedroom with shared bath and kitchen to private three-room apartments. The community nestles in a jungle near Kahului. Members work weekly in community garden and grounds. Community activities also include emotional support groups, workshops, parties and share hosting responsibilities welcoming guests from around the world who visit. We need members with talent in healing arts, music, construction and gardening. Adults only. No new pets (we already have lots of cats and dogs). For an application call 808/242-5921 and leave name, address, phone and fax (if you have one). Security deposit and personal and professional references required.

2002, Saturday; starts 9:30 PM

You ritually chant, send, receive and blend with seven partners, or do all seven rites with a single partner. The rite you do with successive partners flows from the sounds of the Bija Mantra, where each sound awakens a different chakra. One partner, one chakra: security, sensuality, power, love, communication, insight and spirituality awaken. Then you return to your initial partner for the entire, kundalini-charged Mantra. Expand your consciousness to one shared with your partner, then to an awareness of the group as a loving being with
you its parts. Led by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D. and Janet Lessin, CTI. To register go to

3. HOLOTROPIC BREATHING ON HMS Queen Mary, Long Beach/LA Harbor, CA - Thursday July 18th 9:00 AM - 5:00 PM
Get free from being pushed around by your own internal, unconscious forces. This most profound subconscious journey experience is an amazing and powerful doorway to all parts of self. Practice sustained breathing to music and get holos....experiences, images and insights so you grow. Holos, properly integrated, cure psychic, emotional and physical ills so you enjoy, know and love more. You'll also learn to assist another during their insightful experience. Led by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D.

Saturday, July 20, 2002 Long Beach, CA aboard the Queen Mary - Voice Dialogue for You, You & You

In Voice Dialogue for You, You & You, you learn how to get along better with others. From your center you'll become conscious of your diverse inner voices and those of intimates. In this Voice Dialogue lecture/demonstration experience, the Lessins' teach you to convert interactions from sour to sweet, diffuse conflict, and share vulnerablilities. Learn how aspects that turn you off in other people resonate with your own underdeveloped voices. Let the Inner Child connect you so that you accept and enjoy yourself and others. This
course is an excellent precursor to the Lessins's "Celebrate Your Subpersonalities Playshop" that follows. The Celebrate Your Subpersonalities Playshop-- in a lively, playful, profound and supportive atmosphere--centers you so you recognize, accept, coordinate and synergize your own varied voices: personality parts, roles, subselves, subpersonalities, and egos. Visualize, draw and dance your inner selves. Let new and underdeveloped aspects of you emerge. Meet and play with other participants as you learn to choreograph
movements of greatest joy. Dr. Lessin's innovative Voice Dialogue approach is terrific for yourself when working with others.  

5. TANTRA SCHOOL ON M AUI - September 23-27, September 30-October 4, 2002 - Join us here at the School of Tantra for the most comprehensive tantra education program on the planet. For serious students or couples to master tantra, strengthen relationships, become healers or teachers. Come to Maui and experience all that we have to give. Chose from a wide menu of offerings during your stay such as: private instruction, classes, counseling, therapy, certification programs and degree accreditation along with sacred
celebrations, pujas, relationship dating and support groups. The Tantra Assistant Certification Program gives students basic training in All-Chakra Total Tantra. Requirements for Tantra Assistant include attendance of required classes, tantra, relationship seminars, tutorial sessions with the Lessins as well as readings, confluent reaction papers, experiential applications with clients and fellow students, discussions and supervised practicuums in history, philosophy, physiology, counseling and yoga relevant to the practice and teaching of tantra. $495 each week (weekly tuition includes seminar floor or tent site accommodations), $100 a day, $50 each class, $15 yoga. Yoga is taught every morning. Two additional
classes taught each day. Upgrade accommodations available.

Here's some of the courses we offer this fall and winter: All-Chakra  Tantra, Growth Groups, Chakras & Bija Mantra, Sexual Congress, Contraconception, Disease, Her Sexual Anatomy and Physiology, Female Sacred Sector Stimulation, Group Dynamics, Rogerian/Client-Centered Encounter, Schutz' Open Encounter, Gestalt Group, Encounter's Effects, Body Image, Self-Pleasuring, His Sexual Anatomy and Physiology, Love His Lingam, Bless His Base, Tantra Ritual, Life Chapters, Life Chapters, Lifemap, Purge Negativities, Embrace Positivities Sexual Positions, Life Plan & Commitments, Relationship Counseling, Parental, Cultural and Past Life Imprints, Roleplaying and Active Listening, Mend Mom's Mistakes, Choreograph Your Voices, Delete Dad's Defects, Voices in Tantra, Pastlives & Soul Dramas, Benefit from Bonding, Holotropic Breathing, Imago Healing, Heal Her Hurts & Yoni Talks, Entheogens and Tantra, Voice of the Body, Spirit Releasement, Relationship Fitness Training, Primal Therapy, Heal His Hurts & Lingam Talks, Perinatal Imprints and Holotropic Reprogramming, Conscious Relations and Living Love, Archetypes, Guiding Myths & Holotropic Release, Uplifting Existential Relating, White Tantra, Bija Yoga, Integration of Breath and Posture, Posture Sequencing, Postures, Chakras and Visualizations, Breathing, Ejaculatory Control and Sustained Orgasm, Alternate Lifestyles &
Tantra, Monogamy, Cheating & Celibacy, Open Marriage, Polyamory, Polygyny, Polyandry, Pair Dating, Triads and Moresomes, Swinging and Lifestyling, Same Gender Loving, Bisexual Loving, Dominance and Submission, Other Lovestyles, Gestalt Process, Dream Analysis, Gestalt Ideals, Gestalt Your Parts, Gestalt Guidelines & Experiments, Gestalt Growth Games, Dream Analysis, Teaching Tantra, Existential Life Review, Confluent Learning, Gestalt Theory, Supervised Tantra for Individuals and Pairs, Seminar Assisting, Present Seminar Units, Guide Voice Dialogue.

Intro to Compassionate Communication: Friday September 20, 7-9pm.
Workshop: Saturday September 21 & 28 - 9am-5pm - Melanie
writes: "Compassionate Communications (also known as: Nonviolent
Communication) is a powerful communications process, which gives us
tools that help us stay connected with our hearts even in the most
difficult situation. Compassionate Communications helps us to
identify our own feelings and needs and those of others. Through a
simple four-step process we begin to understand how to communicate
from the
heart in a way that allows everyone's needs to be met. My
presentations will draw real examples from the participants and will
use these examples to help illustrate the concepts. Some of these
concepts are: developing the ability to observe without evaluating,
identifying feelings and needs that are common with all people, using
accurate empathy to connect and support, and learning to use "I-
messages." The participants will learn tools that will give them
guidance when they begin to change their communications from a
labeling-analyzing model to a feelings-needs model. The presentation
will begin with a brief history of Compassionate Communications, the
philosophy behind it, and an introduction of my involvement with the
process. I will explain the four steps of the process. The four steps
are Observation, Feelings, Needs, and Requests. Participants will be
asked to determine whether someone is making an observation or
evaluation with their own personal examples. For instance, if someone
says, "my boss is a jerk," this will be an evaluation. If they
say, "My boss gave me five 'needs improvement' on my last
evaluation," this is an observation. Then participants will determine
words that describe feelings and universal needs. Using live
examples, participants will get to practice accurate empathy. We will
discuss blocks to communications such as giving advice, making
judgments, colluding instead of empathizing, and attributing
someone's actions as the cause of our feelings. Throughout the
presentation I will empathize the importance of caring for our own
needs first in order to stay healthy and to meet the needs of others.

"Compassionate Communications is the most important tool I have found
to help me in both my professional and personal life. It allows me to
maintain congruence with my internal and external experience and to
practice self-care. It also gives me the tools I need to connect
compassionately with anyone regardless of their race or national
origin. Compassionate Communication is an essential tool for anyone
in relationships for parents and for those who want to live
peacefully with self."

29, 2002 - This important first-level seminar is a vehicle for
personal growth, transformation and self-examination, reflecting on
the mirrors that come before you, understanding the connectedness of
souls and how each person's story is but a part of self.

Participants learn to appreciate the value of being both Receiver and
Giver, regardless of their role they assume in these seminars. They
delight in being there for another human being, let down their
defensiveness in a safe, loving, supportive community, liberate
themselves from limiting programming acquired from a lifetime of
experiences. Ladies, as Receiver, this is your turn to teach your
partner how to honor, hear and heed you. The Lessins teach your
partner how to mirror, validate and empathize with you, communicate
compassionately, heal your hurts, gift and touch you and (if and when
you choose), stimulate your sacred sexual sector satisfactorily.
Here's a guide for you, Giver, to adore and nurture your partner
more. Gift her with pleasure supreme and, if needed, space to explore
memories or emotions that block her pleasure. If she has such blocks--
and most women do--your support helps her transcend her hurts, trust
you as her healer, and claim her birthright as Goddess of Love and

Couples go deeper than they ever had before, superseding limitations
that previously kept them from true intimacy, transcendence and
seeing past their skin-encapsulated selves to fully feel their
oneness. Singles, admitted on a gender-balanced basis, discover one
another and form friendships that can last a lifetime. Some fall in
love and become the beloved. Others operate as surrogates for the
future beloved to come into the life of their new-found friend
allowing them to discover other forms of love just as deep and viable
as romantic love.
Sasha Lessin, Ph.D. and Janet Lessin, the seminar leaders, authors of
How to Really Love a Woman, explicitly demonstrate (video
demonstration optional) and coach what they teach.
Janet, and the women in the seminar to be adored show how to make
them feel loved and juicy. Givers (male or female), learn to
helpwomen communicate highly-charged emotions, unhook from limiting
attitudes and use orgasm to transcend their separate self-sense and
merge. The seminar is open to singles (equal numbers of men and
women admitted in this category), pairs, partners (two or more of
opposite or same sex), triads and moresomes. $195 Single, $395 pair.

8. WORSHIP A WOMAN: Tantra Date for your Darling: (article)

Adore a woman, the Receiver, your Aphrodite. You're the Giver. You
guide her through a progressively intimate tantric date where you
nurture, adore, delight and worship her. Revere her, Aphrodite,
Goddess of Sacred Sex. Listen to her with love, healing her hurts.
Then polish her pearl, learning finger finesse, caressing her caves.
Worship her throat, heart, genital and base shrines. You meditate,
share feelings and enjoy
fantastic sex.

Set Her Up for Intimate Interaction & Sensual Satisfaction
Propose a tantric date to your Receiver. Say you want to show how
much you adore her. Tell her she won't have to do anything but
receive your love in ways she wants. Show her these directions so she
knows what you plan.

When she arrives or you fetch her, present yourself well-dressed,
manicured and groomed. If you fetch her, pick her up in style. Show
thought and enthusiasm for this chance to honor and please her. Give
her an initial gift: flowers, earrings, a book of poetry.

Lady's Night of Heart Healing, Hand Jive and Ejillulation
Tell her that on this date, you'll focus on her as Receiver. You
support her Inner Child. She activates her chakras to vibrate with
yours. She may experience intense emotions as well as ejillulation, a
gush of non-urinary liquid from her urthera. We call the liquid,
usually designated "female ejaculate," with the non-sexist
ejillulation. The
ability to ejaculate shows when she has transcended sexual and gender
pain and is open to total ecstasy.

Select a Sensual Space for Soul Sharing and Sexual Exploration
Nature's nice for a tryst in a secluded spot without bugs, beasts or
bodies. Otherwise, beautify your boudoir and if you're strong enough,
carry her into it. Accentuate it with incense, seductive scents,
flickering firelight, soft lights or candles. Surprise her with a new
bedspread and satin sheets. Decorate the space with sensual
paintings, reminders of passion you've shared. Provide plenty of
pillows, tons of towels, her favorite fragrant flowers, continuous
romantic music, a love poem or pledge and an additional small gift on
the bed. Set out sensual snacks, her favorite chocolate, wine or
entheogen. Keep massage oil and internal lubricant next to where
you'll pleasure her. Block phone, pager, computer or in-person

Support Her Inner Child Before Sex
Begin this date with the imago exercise. In it, you pledge to give
her what she needed but didn't get from her caregivers.

Imago Healer Evokes Inner Parent
[Source: Hendrix, H., 1988, Getting The Love You Want, NY: Harper]

Your Receiver seeks in you what she loved about her caregivers. You
also have what she hated about them You can hurt her like they did or
heal her by loving her instead.

Speed her healing with the Four Steps to Heal Her Sexuality (below) .
In it, she experiences her Inner Child, her voice of her emotional
reality. This part of her remembers every experience that touched her
Treasure this child.

Heal Her Sexuality
To open your Receiver to full sexual ecstacy, guide her sensitively
through the four steps to heal sex. As you guide, she learns to trust

Regress Her
Tell her, "Lie on my lap, face my chest. Nestle your hands under your
chin; tuck your knees toward your chest, like a baby. Close your
eyes, relax, breath deeply. Imagine you get smaller and younger. Wake
up where
you slept and notice the room--decorations, toys, people.

Encourage Emotional Release
"Walk through your house and yard; meet each person who, by what they
said and did-and didn't do-affected your attitudes and behavior in
sex and love. Who, among these people of your past, still affects the
you and I love each other? One at a time, imagine each of these
people here. Tell them aloud how they affected you. Create an
alternative scenario, where they could have reacted in a way that
encouraged you to enjoy love and sex more. Shout the alternate
attitude have now, if you'd been encouraged.

Help Her Heal
"What I can do to help you heal the hurts you shared, what specific
things I can do this week to help you overcome your sexual limits and

Reprogram Her
"My arms represent Ideal Mother/Father. My voice speaks for your
perfect Inner Parent, the part of you that says what you need to hear
to help heal old hurts that limit you more than you want. Absorb
these in the list, New Default Settings for Her Biocomputer that

New Default Settings for Her Biocomputer [Based on Rosenberg, J.,
Self & Soul: Sustaining Integration, Atlanta: Humanics, 1985.]

I love you.

I want and cherish you; you're special to me.

I feel, hear and see you.

You're safe; I'll protect you.

I'll look after you, take good care of you.

I sometimes, from love, I say, `No'.

Trust me. I'm always here for you.

I love who you are. And I'm proud of who you are, whatever you do.

I love your looks. I enjoy your intelligence.

I want you to enjoy your body.

Savor your sexuality and enjoy touching your genitals. Celebrate your

Menstruating is a joyous miracle.

I love you whether you're like me or different.

Follow your inner voice. Do it. You can.

Tell me anything else you'd like me, as Ideal Parent, to say.

Guide Her to Reparent Herself
"Imagine an Ideal Parent. An Ideal Parent feels, always felt, and
will always feel about your Inner Child the way the Child needs and
says what your Inner Child needs to hear. Invoke your Ideal Parent
then move to a
new seat, a seat for you to enact Ideal Parent. On this seat, embody,
enact, become Ideal Mother/Father. Which are you?

Hi, glad to meet you, [Receiver's name]'s Ideal Mother/Father
[choose]. Tell me your main attributes, qualities and
characteristics. How do you, Inner Parent, feel and act toward [her
name]'s Inner Child? What do you want her to consider in love and sex?

Thank you; I enjoyed meeting you. Let return to her original seat.
Separate from your Ideal Parent."


Shower again, re-brush your teeth, apply scents she likes and clean
your nails again. If you're a beardless male giver, shave again, till
you can run your tongue over the skin around your lips without
feeling any
abrasive stubble (you'll need smoothness there when your lips meet
her labia). If bearded or moustached, shampoo your facial hair.
Change into attire and jewelry she'll like.

Bathe, wash and admire her; tantalize genitals and anus last. Dry her
and give her more compliments on her physical features. Suck and
tongue-tickle her big toes while you gaze into her eyes. Then help
into her Aphrodite attire.

Say, "Thank you for letting me worship and adore you. May I again
disrobe thee, garment by garment, drink in thy divine contours,
admire each of your features, watch how they flow. I treasure
pleasing and
replenishing you."

"May I admire your body, tell you what I like about the way you look
and feel?" Laud her looks aloud.

Sit facing each other, her legs over your hips genitals touching.
Gaze deeply into her eyes. Touch your right palm to her heart and put
her right hand on your heart. Rest your left hand on the back of her
right and tell her to put her left on your right. Look deeply into
her left eye.

Tell her, in your own words, "I delight in serving you. I love
relating this intimately. May my adoration heal hurts I and others
caused you. May our hearts unite and we become one with the
Universe. "

"What words," ask her, "have you to consecrate the worship I offer
your Inner Aphrodite, your loving, sensual, sexual self.? *** [Give
her time to answer.]

Cherish Her Chakras
Press the front of your chakras into hers. Imagine energy runs from
your perineum, genitals, belly, throat, heart, brow and crown--
chakras 1-7--into her. Then syncopate your breathing. Inhale through
your nose as she exhales through her mouth. Exhale through your mouth
as she inhales through her nose. Pause together after each inhale and
exhale. Bless each of her chakras. Say, "Thank you for letting me
worship and adore you. May I again
disrobe thee, garment by garment, drink in thy divine contours,
admire each of your features, watch how they flow. I treasure
pleasing and replenishing you."

"May I admire your body, tell you what I like about the way you look
and feel?" Laud her looks aloud.

Sit facing each other, her legs over your hips genitals touching.
Gaze deeply into her eyes. Touch your right palm to her heart and put
her right hand on your heart. Rest your left hand on the back of her
right and tell her to put her left on your right. Look deeply into
her left eye.

Tell her, in your own words, "I delight in serving you. I love
relating this intimately. May my adoration heal hurts I and others
caused you. May our hearts unite and we become one with the
Universe. "

"What words," ask her, "have you to consecrate the worship I offer
your Inner Aphrodite, your loving, sensual, sexual self.? *** [Give
her time to answer.]

Cherish Her Chakras
Press the front of your chakras into hers. Imagine energy runs from
your perineum, genitals, belly, throat, heart, brow and crown into
her. Then syncopate your breathing. Inhale through your nose as she
exhales through her mouth. Exhale through your mouth as she inhales
through her nose. Pause together after each inhale and exhale. Bless
each of her chakras.

Rub Her Right
Then say, "May I massage you?" As she stretches out on her belly,
gently tug her toes. Rub her soles and the backs of each leg. Do her
fingers, palms, arms. Then massage her back and her bottom. Help her
turn over. Dance your fingers over the tops of her feet and hands,
the front of her arms and legs. Barely brush her labia and
nipples as you glide your hands over her torso. Massage her face and
head. Stroke and knead the muscles inside the leg (especially the
gracilis, "the root of the clitoris") that insert into her pelvis.
Press your fingers deeply into the muscles above her pubic bone.


Ask, "May I touch your Temple of Love?"


If she consents, rest your left hand gently on her HEART. Hold your
right hand over her yoni. Imagine you send her a beam of love from
your eyes into her left eye. Breathe together three times; then
settle your hand gently on her mons.

Tell her, "I love you. Feel our hearts connect and energy vibrate
between us. "I send you love as I breathe out; breathe it in, inhale
my love."

Exhale, then draw your navel back toward your spine and up. Tighten
your pubococcygeal and anal sphincter muscles. Imagine you send
energy up your spine from your tailbone, through your heart and out
your right
hand into her yoni.

When you inhale, feel the energy you have sent her move through her
heart into your left hand. Take at least three breaths where you send
this circuit of energy. Touch each of her chakras in succession and
direct her as follows:

Perineum. Pulse your anal sphincter. Tell her, "I love you. Feel your
base and enjoy health, safety and security. You belong."

Genitals. Press your genitals against hers; say, "I love you at your
yoni, and bless your sensuality, creativity and sexuality."

Solar Plexis. Touch your belly to hers. Say, "I love you in your
power chakra; take what's yours."

Heart and Hands. Place your right hand on her heart and her right on
your heart. Put your left hand behind her heart, between her shoulder
blades; have her put her left behind your heart. "I send you love.
you touch with pleasure."

Throat and Ears. Put your left hand on the back of her neck and
say, "I love you. May you speak honestly and sing your true songs.
May you hear truth. May you enjoy sex with your mouth."

Brain. Join brows. Look up into her eyes till they appear to merge;
say, "I love you. I celebrate how you understand and intuit."

Crown. Flow energy between your crown and hers. Say, "I love you and
merge with you. May you experience your unity with the Universe.

Keep your right hand on her yoni, your eyes on hers. Slowly move your
left hand to her CROWN. Tell her you invite the Goddess of Love to
enter her crown and move through her central channel to her yoni-
shrine. Breathe together three times.

Successively move your left hand to her BROW, THROAT, BELLY and BASE
chakras. For each, take three breaths. Eye-gaze and imagine you
connect energetically with her brow, throat, heart (again), then
belly, perineal
and sexual chakras. Conclude these chakra meditations (mudras) with
your left hand again on her heart. Tell your Receiver, "Relax on
your back, Sweetheart. Breathe deeply. "Let me gaze into your eyes.

Kiss and Caress Her Cave

Tell her, "If you like, I'll massage, then kiss your genital drapes
and the valence over your pearl."

If she says yes, say, "Make sounds and direct me with words; give me
feedback while I lick and stroke."

Tell her, when your strokes feel nice, she'll able to ejillculate--
have ejaculatory orgasms--rapid vaginal contractions as clear or
milky liquid, amrita, gushes from her urthera. To ejaculate, she'll
have to let liquid squirt from her urethra and bladder, but that this
liquid's alkaline, milky or clear, not acidic and yellow like urine.
Assure her that the towels absorb her liquid of any color. Say that
she may not ejaculate this session--it may take weeks or months of
yoni massages--and that she shouldn't push for such release, for such
goal-direction decreases release's likelihood.

Lightly stroke her outer labia. Gently roll her clitoral hood around
the clitoral crown; but don't directly stimulate the crown yet. When
her outer vaginal lips swell, revealing the inner lips, softly trace
circles, spirals, horizonals, verticals, diagonals, and figure-eights
on them with your fingers. Alternate long, short, inventive,
sensitive and
playful strokes. Lightly tap, knead and pinch the hood and labia ten
or fifteen minutes.

When the inner labia also become quite swollen with blood,
say, "Would you like me to polish your pearl?" (pearl = clitoral
crown). If yes, honor her yoni with your mouth and tongue. Blow on
her genitals. Plant baby kisses on her clitoris. Twill your tongue
round the crown and lick her labia. Lap softly into her yoni as you
continue gazing into her eyes. Salivate generously; lubricate the

After twenty to thirty minutes honoring her yoni, say, "I'd like to
enter your sacred cave with this (right ring) finger."

If she agrees, lick your finger so it's quite moist (or use an
internal lubricant like Probe or neem oil). Place the tip of your
ring finger pad just inside her vaginal opening. Say, "Pull my finger

When you feel her vaginal muscles pulsing on your finger, let her
pull your finger into her cave. Curl your finger pad inside her yoni
toward her navel then back toward her inner legs, so it rests gently
against her sacred sector. Breathe together and keep your hand still
for ten deep breaths while you imagine that your finger lovingly
reaches inside her to her heart.

Begin a light "come here" motion with your ring finger; let the pad
of your finger caress the tissue that covers the sacred sector.
Slowly and softly trace, in thirty to forty strokes, the inner
surface of the top and upper front of her cave from cervix toward the
top of her cave's opening. Draw your finger along her urethral
sponge, and, through tissue, over the where her hidden clitoris
branches toward her legs.

Then, for forty strokes or so, turn your wrist from side to side.
Trace a crescent over the sacred sector with your finger pad.

Sweep (turn your wrist from up to down) the left half of her cave.
Slowly skim the front of your right ring finger from the cave roof to
its floor and outside door. Remove your right ring finger and insert
your left ring finger inside her yoni. With your left ring finger,
stroke the right half of the yoni roof.

After a few minutes, change your position to ease your back and neck.
Withdraw your left ring finger from her cave, and put your right ring
finger back in. Rub, tap, and touch all over inside her cave. Stroke
different levels of pressure, depths, speeds and rhythms. Trace the
throbbing veins and, deeper, arteries. Press gently to the bone in
each part of her cave.

After fifteen minutes, say, "Would you like me to pet you with two
fingers inside?" If she consents, curl the underside of your right
middle and ring fingers together along the roof-beam of her yoni.
Move your finger and down the transom over the door and out the yoni,
with a "come here" motion.

Then focus your fingers inside her on her sacred sector. You can feel
it through the inner vaginal wall, between the wall and the pubic
bone, above the orifice. The sector feels like a bean-sized lump that
may grow to silver-dollar size as you stroke it. Initially, when her
sector's stimulated, she may think--though she's just emptied her
bladder-she needs to urinate. Let her try to do so until no urine
comes out.

Unite your fingers through her lower abdomen. Press your left hand
down on her lower belly just above the pubic bone. Feel her sacred
sector swell between these fingers on her abdomen and those in her

Move your head from side to side; alternate stretching out on your
belly withdrawing your knees under you to prevent back and neck pain.
Either pain can distract you from your role as Giver.

If you find menstrual blood on your fingers, let her know you feel
honored by this intimacy; stripe the blood across your chest and
thank her.

Your Receiver may enjoy all the touching. Some Receivers feel
indifferent to sacred sector massage at first. Most women, however,
savor some sacred sector stroking. Remember your Receiver's pleasure


A Receiver may block pleasure, orgasm and ejaculation. If she tenses,
numbs or burns at your touch, encourage her to free associate, to
remember touch, sex and times that traumatized or closed her down
emotionally and sexually. She may have past life memories or
She may yell, cry, laugh or make strange sounds. Tell her, as you
stroke, to laugh, growl, scream, sob and speak as she experiences
memories and emotions. Make sounds with her. If she emotes lots, keep
your fingers unmoving in her and tell her, "Express it, Honey." She
remember times a parent, lover or pastlife beloved abandoned her. She
may recall her own or others' incest, rape, neglect, restrictions.
may identify with a woman burning at the stake, a sacrificial Aztec
maiden, the pain of women everywhere. Yoni massage may also trigger
feelings that have no particular images or memories. Or feelings
you and your how you relate with her.

Hold her while she screams, sobs and says what she needs to say to
person she thinks hurt or neglected her.

If she's angry at you, say, "Say it louder. Let me know how mad I
you." Stay centered.

Ask her to fantasize and roleplay redoing the painful, humiliating or
inappropriate scenes that traumatized her; keep your fingers lightly
the area that stimulated her catharsis. Enact the part of her father,
mother or boyfriend the way she wished they were in the scene she

When she relaxes again, move your fingers to and from the area that
stimulated the painful memories and an area that felt good when
Let your fingers stimulate these two areas till she says she enjoys
touch both places.


When she recognizes, releases and creates alternative outcomes paired
with pleasure, she'll likely orgasm (spasmodically contract her
vagina). She may simultaneously ejaculate--dribble or squirt (a few
centimeters to several ounces) amrita, divine nectar clear or
slightly milky, sweet- tasting, alkaline fluid from her urethra.

Breathe with her; stroke her, make sounds with her. When says she
feels like she's about to ejaculate, say, "Push out on your uterus,
like you're delivering a baby."

Don't pressure her to ejaculate. It'll happen when she's ready--if
not this date, then on subsequent dates in the weeks or months to

When she does ejaculate, tell her, "You're beautiful," "I love
you," "You're coming into your power," and other affirmations. These
affirmations imprint powerfully as she ejaculates.

Gather some of her amrita on your left hand. Taste it. Say, "Yum."
Dab some on her lips so she can taste how sweet it is. Keep your
right hand in her yoni. Hold her close.

After several minutes, with added lubricant, very carefully (to
prevent tearing the now-desiccated tissue), withdraw your fingers.
But keep your hand on her yoni, outside. Lie next to her and hold her

Refrain from demanding or even implying that she satisfy you
sexually. This date, she's Receiver. If she wants other sexual
experiences with you and you're amenable, give them; but let her

School of Tantra, 1371 Malaihi Road, Wailuku, Maui, HI 96793
Janet Kira & Sasha Lessin, Ph. D.
808-244-4103 (office), 877-244-4103 (voice mail),
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Wailuku, Maui, Hawaii  96793
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