Tantra School Prices: $495 per week, $100 per day.
2. EROTIC COMMUNICATION THE LOST LANGUAGE OF LOVE led by Melanie Sears, Sept 20 & 21
Melanie Sears teaches how to talk so your lover will listen, to hear into anyone’s heart, to quit taking things personally, to heal emotional reactions, to be present to yourself and others, to resolve any conflict, and to get out of the rut and into the flow. Melanie says, "Communicating from the heart is an aphrodisiac. Without communication, sex becomes monotonous. This workshop will give your sex life fuel that will turn sex into love and eroticism. It will give you tools to transform painful, lifeless relationships into healing connections."
Friday, Sept 20: Introductory Evening $10
Saturday, Sept 21 $100
3. CONSCIOUS CONNECTIONS
Join us for our evening version of Tantra School which also serves as a dating service for singles as well as a support group for those exploring tantra and alternative relations. We meet Tuesday evenings for eight weeks beginning October 8, 2002 through November 26, 2002 - 6:30-9:30 PM for beginners, seasoned tantricas, singles or couples. The lessons activate the cells of your being so the information and experience go right to the core of yourself. This process creates the highest growth and transformation for you and helps you rediscover yourself while connecting with others of like mind on the tantric path. This course covers many of the same material offered in Tantra School but spread out over 8 evenings. Limited to 40 people, $350 each, $600 pair.
4. CONNECTION PARTIESSaturdays 7-10 PM Experience tantra with open-minded, spiritual people in a joyous, safe, conscious atmosphere. We advertise both locally and internationally so you can meet other adventurous souls. A formal, instructional part of the party runs from 7-10 pm. Then after 10 party attendees relax in the hot tub, discover love and enjoy each others' company. $50 single women, $100 couples, $100 single men. All orientations welcome
5. PRIVATE PSYCHOLOGICAL AND SPIRITUAL GROWTH COUNSELING
Methodologies include Holotropic Breathwork, Voice Dialogue, Pastlife Regression Therapy, Hypnotherapy, Couples Counseling, Gestalt Therapy, Spiritual Growth Coaching, Tantra and Viniyoga. $150 hour for counseling, $85 hour for yoga.
6. JOIN OUR CONSCIOUS COMMUNITY ON MAUI
Apply to join Sasha, Janet and Jennie in a conscious, tantric, naturist, polyamorist, meditative, psychospiritual community nestled a Maui jungle.
You must be kind, honest, loving, open-minded, spiritual, neat, clean, tidy, quiet, reliable, responsible, financially-secure, non-tobacco smoking, environmentally-conscious, sex-positive and committed to work on and heal your family of origin hangups to join this experimental community and create a new model for extended family. We model our new-paradigm community on conscious communities like Zegg and Harbin Hot Springs, based on love and support for one another, kind, open and authentic communication, tantra, intentional family and intimate friendships.
Accommodations vary from private bedroom with shared bath and kitchen to private three-room. Members work weekly in community garden and grounds. Community activities include emotional support groups, workshops, parties and hosting. Applicants trained in healing arts, music, construction and gardening would help lots. Adults only. No new pets (we already have many). For application call 808/242-5921: leave name, address, phone and fax.
7. TRIAD: OUR FIRST MONTH LIVING TOGETHER (articles by Janet, Sasha and Jennie)
JANET: A month has gone by since Sasha and I began our new live-in triad with the fabulous Jennie. I know we are on our honeymoon and just like all others who begin love anew, in the beginning all is rosey. However, we; Jennie, Sasha and I, are conscious enough beings to realize the trials and tribulations of communicating and living together and are committed to the process, confident that our love will heal all wounds.
I am amazed at the depth of our love. I wake up mornings with tears welling in my eyes. I've never felt such joy knowing at last that two people love me totally, unconditionally. I was afraid at first that I was not worthy of such adoration. And there are still moments when I find myself hovering outside of myself judging who is she that she can have such depth of connection, such love, such intimacy? I come back in and think, "How can I at last be worthy?" I find my Inner Critic taking center, judging my age, appearance, and all the superficial things that society creates to determine self worth and distance myself from me and others. When did I buy into all of that? When did I take that on and make it mine to the point that it affects my self-esteem and physical health?
Sasha reassures me. So does Jenn. I am finally loved and adored. There was a moment there during the first few days that I thought Jennie would bolt. Who wouldn't? After all, I'm so difficult? Sasha and I are so intense sometimes in our interactions. When Jennie began to speak that morning in our check in, I saw her pain, felt her fear and waited for the fatal words to come, "I've decided to leave". She even began with something on that line. "Last night I almost left". "Oh my", my critic declared in dismay, "What horrible unpardonable sin have I committed again?" I waited for the ax to fall, the other shoe to hit the ground, when much to my amazement Jennie came back with, "But I decided to stay and face the fears. I only needed to step out of it all for a moment, reflect and view it, and get a better perspective. Then from that clear space, I returned and was able to move forward in love". I know that's not her exact words, but that's the energy and message that she conveyed to us. Especially to me.
I judge my pain, how silly I am to hurt so readily even after all this time embracing polyamory. How can I be so sensitive and yet move forward to explore such an experimental lifestyle as polyamory? Why do I chose such a deep level of intensity when I could keep my poly-loving on a more casual basis and not have my lovers live with me? What drives me to do something so out-there, so bizarre to so many? Won't I just destroy everything I have?
When I ask myself that question, the answer that comes back is complex and multi-faceted. It reflects many parts of myself which I believe reflect many parts of our society. There's a part of me that wants the security and intimacy of a beloved. I want the devotion and love of a family. While embracing both of those in my heart, I also long for the excitement and variety of many loving encounters. I desire the diversity of melding my body and consciousness with other races. I love loving lovers of my same gender and well as the opposite. I couldn't imagine choosing only one, male or female, as I know I'd be cutting myself off from a part of me that I see with each gender. It would be like losing half of me. Or worse yet, Id' just be suppressing that part of me, making it bad or wrong when I know when in my heart of hearts that when I make love I am connected to not only the other that I touch in the moment, but to all parts of myself, God, the Universe and the Divine.
In my self-examination I find that another driving force is the pain I feel from my clients. I work with so many who are hurting because they are trying to shove themselves into a box that no longer fits. Society is currently operating from the illusion of pluralistic ignorance, meaning that what is actually happening in our culture in terms of relationships and sexuality is not what is being shown. Thousands come to me and Sasha in our practice and school to explore the new paradigms of relating: swinging, tantra, polyamory, bisexuality, etc. They say they must hide their thoughts, desires and actions from their mates, children, parents, employees, co-workers, society for fear of repercussions. From my perspective as the Dear Abby of the internet, the revolution is here. While there are many who are celebrating and joyful in their new-found revelation, there are still many times more who suffer because they must hide who they really are behind shame and guilt which does not accurately reflect the truths of their hearts.
I believe it's time to bring this into the light. I am driven by my love of humanity. My pain meets your pain and my joy seeks to dance with your joy. It is only by going through the fire, like a Phoenix rising, that we can find truth. And once that is revealed, then the truth will set ALL of us free.
Yesterday our triad took a moment to reflect on our month together. Sasha and Jennie have been holding themselves back, not acting on impulses because I would feel uncomfortable if I were left out and not included. I acknowledged and appreciated that they exhibited such restraint. I, what I believe is my center, sees all the parts of me. Part of me is joyous, in total empathy (or what we call compersion in the polyamory movement), when I see Sasha and Jennie love, kiss, hug and make love. However, a few weeks ago, my Inner Child collapsed in fear and panic. I was as helpless and Jennie and Sasha as I watched myself sink into a well of despair. And I am not sure right now what I can get to calm my Inner Child's discomfort and allow her to meet this situation with the joy and love that the rest of me feels.
Oh my poor walking, wounded Inner Child. When will she ever find total peace? I've named my Inner Child, Janney Banney, after the affectionate nickname my father gave me when I was very small. "Janet the Bandit, she stole my heart away", Dad would say as he held me upside down on his lap and looked into my eyes.
I looked again at the two of them. They held space, love pouring forth from both of them. Tears flowed freely down my face as we opened ourselves even more to one another. "I guess there's really six of us here: not only the three of us but each of our inner children," I said. "So how can I make each of us feel safe, feel more comfortable, feel the love that I give?"
That rhetorical question needed no actual answer in the moment. Time will reveal more as we proceed. The invitation is there for any of us at any time to express our thoughts, feelings, emotions and desires. We've become a three-way biofeedback system. My beautiful mirrors show me what I need to pay attention to. Their reflection is honest.
For myself and my healing, I know I only need to internalize the love they shower on me. I think that time is the element that will allow me to integrate the love that already exists.
I know if I honor my mirrors and heed what I am getting then I'm well on my way to the spiritual growth and evolution I seek. While maybe I'll never achieve true perfection here on this planet, I can become more and more conscious, take personal responsibility for my thoughts, deeds and actions and stop inflicting my dysfunction on others.
Our family’s expanding. October 1st we’ll be joined by Juan, Cindy and Caileigh. We're so excited that they are joining us. We welcome the love and adventure. We also have others who want to join us. Some want only the moment, to mix energies, stories, love and joy while others seek longer connections as students, teachers, clients, seminar attendees, party participants, lovers and community members. They are all intriguing. I wonder who'll get on the plane? I wonder who'll chose to stay?
It’s my deepest hope that our new model for family and paradigm for relating will open the world to honor the very deep and personal choices that each individual makes from their hearts for relating and connecting to others. Each path to source, to whatever we perceive as God is unique and valuable for all of us to view.
My family and our trials and tribulations are but a microcosm of all that exists. Nothing in the human condition is alien to me or mine. My internal strife unhealed reflects externally and thus affects all around me. As within, so without. As above, so below. My personal wounds are no greater or no less than yours. My story is universal. As I heal I heal those around me. Same goes for each of us. As we each own our reactions and heal ourselves, we are in affect healing the planet. Every internal conflict resolved affects the morphogenic field and shifts us to an alternative reality of peace, away from the model of war that we are being offered right now.
Since I am a social being, I chose my family as my place of healing and evolution. I know with the love and support of others around me who share the consciousness vision, that I can live authentically from my deepest personal truth to become my personal best and give the most I can in the short while I have to dance on this planet. I invite you to look at your hearts. What do you find? If so moved, I welcome your answers.
SASHA: I’m so grateful for Jennie. Since she’s come to us, we’ve played, laughed and enjoyed ecstatic group sex more often. The three of us problem-solve and work more smoothly than Janet and I have in years. Jennie stays clear and centered and her few words of neutral observation help us return in mere moments to love and cooperation when Janet and I destabilize into soured interaction that would otherwise have lasted hours. A few days ago, Jennie asked me "Who pissed in your cornflakes," when I snapped at Janet. Her comment snapped me back into awareness and I was able to apologize and talk about what was really bugging me, stuff that had nothing to do with Janet. Jennie brings us back to love.
Jennie’s here to meet needs of Janet’s–like her needs for constant companionship and shopping for fun-- I was unable to meet well and, of course, her need for woman-woman sex–I was unable to meet at all. This is just what I’d theoretically preached in my writing, on the Leeza Show, Inside Edition, Extra and Love Phones: polyamory provides people to meet each other’s needs better than the isolated nuclear family. Since Jennie’s come, I no longer have to struggle with Janet’s need for constant company each day and get away and swim, ride my bike, hike my mountain or go to the gym. Janet’s got Jennie to work and play with while I’m gone. Jenn even swims with me too.
And Jennie’s easing Janet’s fear of loss of intimacy as our family expands even further. Janet had been apprehensive (as well as excited) that Juan, Cindy and Caileigh will join us in three weeks. After the journeywork and loving we did yesterday, Janet knows we’ll never abandon her and looks forward to even more love, attention and satisfaction.
JENNIE: I'm the third. Number three. The outsider. Breaking into this strong dyadic conscious stream. I look for my break-like a sperm attacking an egg-tail flagellating. Yet knowing full well I am the one to fertilize this waiting ripe ovum that has been waiting for my love. Breaking through all barriers. Yes-Please be the one! Be strong enough to come inside our vulnerable lives-to love and live. Transcend our spiritual egg-cause life to unfold-yes, I'm still here.
One month later-yes, I am still here and learning the intricacies of my beloveds. We have had this full month alone without other community members* to get to know one another and form the bonds-mine to Janet-mine to Sasha-and our three together. It has been wonderful, interesting intense and a month long honeymoon. We stretch and purr with the kitties while having tea at our early morning check in where we analyze our dreams and plan our day. We share our thoughts, needs and desires while our energies meld and soar as it becomes it's own entity with it's own intuition. The triad seems to take it's own loving course now with no forced movements.
I came to this relationship with such a newfound emotional freedom and strong calming spirit. This was such a welcome addition that was easily woven in. I felt their needs so strongly. Their intensity was off the scale at times. I just had to step back, gather my thoughts-close my eyes-then laugh out loud because I swear I heard the pitty- patter of Janet's inner child's feet run by. For through the intensity, their love and joy is just as strong and my commitment, love and devotion bring me back to center and I am at peace again.
* October 1st we’ll be joined by three new members of our tribe; Juan, Cindy and Caileigh. They’ll be documenting their experiences and reporting next newsletter. See you then.
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School of Tantra, 1371 Malaihi Road, Wailuku, Maui, HI 96793
Janet Kira & Sasha Lessin, Ph. D.
808-244-4103 (office), 877-244-4103 (voice mail)