Synergy Newsletter September 2004. Part I
Published by Janet Kira Lessin, P.T.S.. and Sasha (Alex) Lessin, Ph.D.
808 244-4103 email:,,,,

For an HTML version of this newsletter click School of Tantra Synergy Newsletter September 2004.

Janetís Intro:

Fall brings the elections and they sure are scary. Raised Republican, I identified as Republican and voted that way most of my early adult life until late in the 1980s when I quit voting, shook my head, went inside and tried to make sense of it all.  I emerged out the other side a liberal, lover of nature, devoted to peace.  I have a very simple litmus test when it comes to qualifying who I vote for. I ask, are they for peace and do they honor nature?  Right now it seems we're stuck with voting for the lesser of two evils.  Someday I'd like to see the options for my votes as the better of the best. I think we can get there but it may be in steps.  If nothing else this current state of affairs shows us that we can no longer be lazy or apathetic about what's going on. Even if we die trying, even if we up in a modern day version of Hitler's ovens, we need to speak up, and do it loud and strong, before "they" take our silence as permission and we lose our right to speak at all.  I invite each one of you to look inside and vote with your heart.  

If you haven't seen "What The Bleep Do We Know?" I highly recommend you do it now.  If you want a fast track out of the matrix that satisfies the ego's needs for logical explanations while propelling you to the highest levels of consciousness, and is entertaining to boot, catch it and do it soon.  But there are some out there who prefer to remain in the matrix. I doubt those kinds of folks are the ones who read my newsletter. 

Mahalo and Bright Blessings,
Janet Kira Lessin

This issue contains:

1.   PASSIONATELY POLY  Janet Kira Lessin
          A. Laguna Beach, CA - October 22-24, 2004
          B. Orange Springs, FL - April 20-26, 2005
          C. Harbin Hot Springs, CA - June 17-19, 2005
          D. Northeast Conference, PA - September 2005
Continued in Part II



1.    PASSIONATELY POLY  Janet Kira Lessin

Iíve been philosophically polyamorous since I discovered the concept when I was 12 years old. Two books I read at that time (1966) forever shifted my perspective on reality: Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein and The Harrad Experiment by Robert Rimmer.

These two books described polyamory. However, neither of them used the term which wasnít to be coined until approximately twenty years later. The books supported freedom, love, peace and happiness. Made sense to me. These things could be accomplished by sexual and religious freedom, freedom to think what one thought and feel what one felt. That too made sense to me. What didnít make sense was the hypocrisy around me. People were saying one thing and doing another.

In fact, that hypocrisyís never ended. Itís just today I call it pluralistic ignorance. People profess to doing one thing, and do another. Especially when weíre talking about sex. And this hypocrisy, this pluralistic ignorance, this lie about who and what we are mixed with the guilt, shame and pain about having to hide our thoughts and feelings, combined with repressing what we really want to do, leads to planetary neurosis which causes war. The battle within creates the battle without which builds till the battleís universal. The main fuel for fire, besides greed, is sexual repression and the battle of the sexes.

Patriarchical men repress women which means theyíre actually denying, subjugating, repressing and downright abusing the feminine half themselves. In other words, most of humanityís crazy. And without a doubt, war is the highest expression of insanity.

Back to the 60s. I heard recently that someone was terrified of the 60s attitudes around polyamory as it was all sex, drugs and rock and roll. They believed that free love was sorta like swinging.

Well I was there, lived through the 60s, had enough functioning brain cells to understand a bit about what was going on, and from my perspective, we had rich, alive, full-on relationships every bit as co-dependent and dysfunctional as todayís relationships. One of the major differences between then and now is that we were onto something and on the verge of "getting it".

Having survived all these years Iím now 50 years old and I see a strange new phenomenon happening around me. Weíre beginning to "get it" again.

Now what side-tracked us from where we started long ago, I can only guess. The important thing is once again weíre excited about something, weíre stoked about peace, love, freedom and happiness, especially when it come to sex.

Legislation abounds. Do we allow same sex lovers to marry? Well thatís refreshing cause in the 60s we hardly talked about gay and lesbian love.

Sure, John Lennon came out of the closet and said "Whatís all the fuss about two men loving each other when all this killingís going on in the Middle East?"

Well Lennonís dead. Someone made sure he couldnít continue singing his songs that inspired the world. But some things never change. Weíre still fighting in the Middle East and weíre still making a huge fuss over men loving men.

And Iím still poly. I started out polyamorous philosophically then ventured into being physically poly early on, when I was 14, 15 or 16. I discovered it was super nice, tons of fun and great warm fuzzies to have more than one lover.  

While my lovers and I never simultaneously shared a bed back in the late sixties, I was poly because I would love one lover the early part of the day and love another at the end. However, back then, I was sneaking around. I didnít like that part but I wasnít certain how else to do it.

Meanwhile, hypocrisy abounded. The folks, who were out there in the world impressing everyone with their Presbyterian, righteous, moral religion. Meanwhile, behind closed doors, they had a group of fellow church goers bonking one another till all hours of the night.

I felt it. Knew I smelled something rotten. Weíre all a bit psychic and I was more psychic than most. I knew the attitudes and energies they were putting out wasnít what they were doing. I think thatís one of the major reasons behind my poly self winning out over my monogamous self. Way back then I knew on a deep core level, the folks were polyamorous.

But heck, werenít they swingers? Not really. They had relationships with these lovers; long-term, ongoing, life-long in fact. After all the guilty partners died, pictures started to emerge and when the pictures became known, I started to remember things and fill in the blanks.

Oh thatís why they shoved me out of the door when movies were being shown. And I remember strange moans and groans coming down the hall when I was supposed to be asleep in bed.

Well I can smile now. They were having fun, sharing lots of laughs and love. I just think itís a shame they had to hide what they were doing and feel shame and guilt just for loving more than one.

What a sign of the times. Fast forward and today we have swing clubs and conferences not only coast to coast but globally. Here I am politically poly, co-leading the World Polyamory Association along with some of my dearest friends and lovers.

Iíve been deeply affected by social attitudes. The lies, programming and pluralistic ignorance has made it difficult for me and my beloveds to overcome negative conditioning that sets us against our own true nature. While many are becoming conscious, we struggle to overcome our feelings of shame, blame, guilt, dysfunctional relationships, co-dependency and making the other person wrong.

Yep, we can get into the relation-shit just as easily with more than one as we can in a monogamous dyad.

But even though I fall off the wagon now and again, that doesnít keep me from getting back on the horse.

I do have my programming, you know, both conscious and unconscious and deep down in my psyche, the models loving more than one: my polyamorous parents, early poly books and personal experiences of multi-person loving when I was but a child, motivates me to perservere.

On top of it all, societyís experiencing a huge shift in consciousness. Swing clubs, polyamory conferences, sexy television shows, gay rights marches, same sex marriages, all combine to shift and shape, revamp and remodel our psycheís to a new paradigm of peace, love, freedom and happiness.

Hey, didnít we say that before?

Recently my hubby and I decided to bring in an extra male to our relationship. Too much time was going by with just the two of us and we were afraid we were turning monogamous or something awful like that. So the universe delivered a fellow we were interested in six months ago and we decided to have him over to the house for a series of dates.

Sometimes when I want to date someone I go slow, so slow itís bordering on torturous for all of us. I mean, I donít want to be called lose or a slut or anything, so I really want to be sure when I get sexually involved with someone that theyíre the "right one". Whatever that means.

I mean, itís rather ridiculous, me being polyamorous and all, that Iím concerned that someone might conceive me as being a slut, but thatís the way it is. Emotions arenít logical and our Inner Children can sure run a number on us grown-ups.

I donít want to get hurt, you know. Relationships all tough, full of stuff, projections and the nasties so I really want to KNOW someone before I let down my guard, merge consciousness, swap body fluids and become "one". I want conscious people whoíve done enough of their family-of-origin work so they wonít be confusing me with their mothers or fathers and launch themselves if I cough or sneeze the wrong way. I do have my limitations, rules, regulations and boundaries, you know, established after years of dating both monogamously and polyamorously. Iím pretty much an expert on dating right about now with all this practice, right?

Yet now and then along comes a super pretty face or someone that seems so cool, right-on, centered, spiritual and theyíve "done the work", that I throw caution to the wind and let my hair down.

And thatís what happened with Dharma. I went there, mated, dated, related, Opened myself wide. Threw my expectations out the window. Let down my guard and gave it my all. I dared to be vulnerable. I went for it.

After all, he was spiritual, right? I mean, he wasnít able to talk that lingo without having been there, right? How could he have perfected that tantric energy without years of experience? And wasnít my psyche saying heís part of our soul family come home to celebrate with momma, reunited, rejoicing after centuries apart?

So why was I surprised when it happened again? Not 24 hours after our highest high, greatest joy, and biggest bliss, Dharma got pissy with me. He projected his Mother shit all over me, dumped a huge dump truck full of psychic turds in my living room and propelled himself out the door so fast the door didnít have time to hit him in the ass.

What happened? Hadnít we just made love for what, 4, 5, maybe 6 days on end? Didnít we share love, visions, hopes, dreams, desires and orgasms galore?

My recovery timeís getting much better. I was only angry, hurt and upset for 2 days instead of 2 weeks.

After I calmed down a bit, I told Sasha I didnít want to ever date anyone again. I wanted to be monogamous. I know, I know, Iím the head of the World Polyamory Association now, but I still want to do that AND be monogamous and I can because straight people support gays and I can be straight and still support polys.

I just donít want to get hurt anymore.

This was rough. A dear friend came and facilitated us. We spent hours, dealing with this, a biggie and a few other, smaller issues.

I said, "Well if you give my Inner Child this one, she may decide to relax and let us be poly again. But itís like the couple whoíre having erectile dysfunction problems, talking about it and putting all their energy, focused on the man getting an erection. The more they try to give him an erection, the more difficult it is to make his penis erect.

Thatís kinda whatís happening with us. The more we focus on pulling in the "right poly people", the more we get close but no cigar. Iím exhausted, my heartís broken and I need a break. On top of it all, I canít seem to get my work done, work I need to do in order to pay bills, keep a roof over our heads and food on the table.

So for now, I want to let go of wanting what I want, and let the universe deliver the "right poly people" if thatís whatís meant to be. Otherwise, Iím suffering and not having fun. And isnít that what itís all about anyway? More love and more fun?"

Sasha had a bit of an emotional reaction to this. I could tell. Iíve been with him long enough and know him ever-so-well. But he once again proved to me how much he loved me as conveyed to me and our facilitator how devoted he was to me and my happiness, that heíd agree to even Monogamy!

Our facilitator, whoíd explored polyamory for years himself, saw the wisdom in letting go and allowing things to happen rather than force the matter.

Whew! My Inner Child relaxed. Oh God, she wouldnít have to try or do anything! She could just be who she was and go with the flow, however that may be. No more Pleaser feeling pushed to do anything because of shoulds, even fictitious shoulds, implied or fabricated, created by herself, the one who traditionally shoulds all over me.

A week later, Iím feeling more comfortable with the idea of dating again. Funny how the ones I want donít want me. Or if they do want me they "canít" because of their partners or their lifestyles or their bosses, families, friends who wouldnít "approve" of Miss Poly.

What parts of our decisions are choice and what parts do we feel helpless to do anything about?

Over forty years ago a part of me decided I was polyamorous. I knew love, felt love coming in to me from many directions and going out to many from me. From those experiences, I knew thatís who I really was.

Over time I allowed the confusion I felt coming from others to combine with the attitudes and mores of the times to cloud my concept of me. What was projected by others compared to the energies, attitudes and psychic thoughts I picked up added to my confusion. If I allow it, these conflicting energies and attitudes can still run rampant and cause confusion within my psyche.

However, I consciously chose to face my neurosis. I take personal responsibility for my confusion. I chose to explore my programming to eliminate potential psychosis.

When I become conscious of my attachments and addictions to negative outcomes, I reprogram myself. I recognize the dysfunctional patterns within myself, created by my brainís neurotransmitters during my first traumatic journey through pain and out the other side of my original emotional roller coaster to what I believed was love. I realize that what I thought was love was not love, but was actually a way of getting attention, nurturing, pity and sympathy, which resembled love. Those patterns no longer serve me or my beloveds. By letting go I create new neuro-pathways in my brain which allow the true expression of myself.

With new eyes I see the past, recreate myself and clear the way for honesty, intimacy, true love and divine relationships. While Iíve been philosophically, physically and politically poly for the greater part of my life, itís time to get real and be passionately poly.


In the beginning was the word and the word was "I". Further vibration created subdivision and parsing of God Mind and the "I" became the "All That I Am". Egos, subpersonalities, subselves, partials, altars; all reflections of the One. Should one transcend oneself? Well that might be a fun game to try. And thus with that thought, the games began.

Hiding parts from oneself is the substance of divine play, or lila. Variations on the theme create further parsing, further subdivision till before you know it, you are you and I am I. The Apparent Other allows for interesting conversations, lovemaking and play. The veil of forgetfulness adds to the fun. Otherwise weíd know it all and realize weíre simply masturbating.

The Participant Observer leads the game by their focused intention. Polarities allow for diversity, experience, choice and delicious dances with dichotomies. With the Apparent Other polarized opposite the Participant Observer, we demonize and create drama, trauma, good, bad, right, wrong, up, down, back, forward and time itself. Itís delicious isnít it? Rich with story, color, light, diversity, variety and song. Would we give that up for anything? How could we? Itís creativity itself.

Now comes the challenge. I the ego "likes" and "dislikes". My "likes" and "dislikes" are in opposition with the other me, which is you or they. Can the I that I am balance the you that you are and the they that they are and create something that we can agree upon?

Apparently not. At least not now. But what is now but time? And does time exist? And if I disagree with you and you are but a part of me and together we are the All That I Am, then am I not simply fighting with myself?

We may as well cut off our nose to spite our face. Cherish the differences.

Janet Kira Lessin and husband, Sasha Lessin, Ph.D. are Relationship Counselors, Spiritual Growth Coaches and Tantra Teachers. mailto:sashalessinphd@aol.comThey may be reached at 808-244-4103, email:, web site:


Investigate the possibilities of a polyamorous (more than one love) lifestyle.  Ask us how you can make more love in your life, relate from your highest self with your lovers and housemates, uplevel jealousy into compersion (joy at your lovers' joy), and give them each the attention, companionship, touch and sexual-loving they need.  The World Polyamory Association's (WPA) CONFERENCES and workshops feature speakers and facilitators (PRESENTER REGISTRATION FORM) who present workshops on: empathetic active listening, poly relationship styles and systems, imago healing, relationship imaging, non-violent compassionate communications, Voice Dialogue centering, tantric activation, sex magic for your lovelife, chakra balancing, energy clearing, communication skills, poly relating and dating, poly childrearing, poly activism and much, much more.   

     Poly amory , loving more than one person at the same time, is always a good choice.  No problem, love many.  

  But Poly sexuality, more than one lover?  Polyamory with polysexuality-one of several relationship options-works well for some people some of the time.  But so, too, do any of the other relationship options--monogamy, singlehood, even celibacy works for other people some of the time.

     Choose.  World Polyamory Association advocates CHOICE.  Be the chooser, decider, author of this chapter of your life.  WPA wants you to make discerning choices that serve you.  Make choices that facilitate your personal growth and evolution and at the same time honor and respect the people you commit to love.

     You have relationship options - monogamy, celibacy, open marriage, pair-bonded inclusive relating, triads (man-woman-man, woman-man-woman, man-man-man, woman-woman-woman) polyfidelity, loving networks, group marriage, multi-generational line marriage, and more. You have heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual alternatives within each.  You have many spiritual practices and value systems to chose--to mix and match with your relationship options, styles and sexual orientation.  What is most important is that you are the chooser and that you come from choice.  

     Though you consult others, ultimately, you make your own choices - choices consonant with your stage of life, experience, needs at the time.

    Same sex marriages are sanctioned in open-minded, progressive areas worldwide.  Debates abound.  Laws are  launched.  Legislation's lobbied.  Madonna tongues Brittany Spears, live, in front of millions.  Swinger Clubs open everywhere, around the globe.  Ladies at the clubs embrace bisexuality openly, willingly. Men curious, lag behind, but how far?

     Society, sick of infidelity, longs for honesty and openness.  When will we at last free to be who we really are instead of hiding our thoughts, wants, desires and longings from everyone, including our mates?

     Time for play.  The sun's shining, rainbow's bright. A new day is dawning.  The past becomes the now.  We come full circle into the Golden Age.

     Bonobo "chimps," our biologically closest cousins, show us the eroticism of our natural, animal natures.  No longer fooled by domination programming, we free ourselves from "sin" and cultural inhibitions that served the Piscean age of patriarchy.  Free, we realize we've outgrown  ancient, restrictive ideas that no longer serve our new, centered, balanced male to female, yinyang, Aquarian partnership society.   As we make love not war with renewed enthusiasm, we embrace a more civilized civilization that honors the uniqueness and special qualities of one and all and recognize sexual freedom as a healthy expressions of our true nature.

    We move into an era of new awareness and freedom while we simultaneously experience the pressure of increasing potential restrictions imposed upon us by those who feel threatened by our ability to be free.  Unchallenged, they would rob us of our choice to be who we truly are. 

      In 1816 Thomas Jefferson wrote to Mrs. H. Harrison Smith the following:

     "I never told my own religion nor scrutinized that of another.  I never attempted to make a convert, nor wished to change another's creed.  I am satisfied that yours must be an excellent religion to have produced a life of such exemplary virtue and correctness.  For it is in our lives, and not from our words, that our religion must be judged."

     Stand tall and firm, proud to be who you are.  You are wise enough to decide for yourself what suits you in each moment as you journey through life.   

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      Sex and relationship wounds cripple human society. Riane Eisler, in Sacred Pleasure, cites studies that show that the battle of sexes, striking children, as well as lack of easy sexual release and intimate connections generate violent crime and war. But sexual and relationship healing as well as meditation create the greatest personal, family and societal peace.

We at The World Polyamory Association (WPA) facilitate global healing.  We contribute to healing the world when we help individuals feel good about themselves and honor their gender, relationship choices, sexual preferences and sexual orientation.

Polyamory means loving more than one person in an intimate relationship without deceit. We're all polyamorous, meaning we love more than one.  Most of us have intimate relationships in our lives; we love our families and friends as well as our lovers. Intimates help us see and love ourselves, share love and be loved.  The media confounds polyamoryĖmultiple loving with poly-sexĖsexual intercourse with contemporary multiple partners. While some of us are poly-coital and some not, we all need to be polyamorous for the intimacy that sustains us and the world.  WPA supports love, amory and your search for love through your freedom to choose the relationships that work for you now, at this stage of your life.

The World Polyamory Association conferences strive to shift the planet into a more loving space, to create a civilized civilization free of personal, inter-personal and global strife. We play, enjoy song, dance and networking and also heal at our conferences with the help of our team of teachers from the consciousness and free choice movement who present workshops, panel discussions, seminars, dance, song, movement, massage experiences. We feature workshops that simultaneously educate, let you play and create networking opportunities for you.

Come to one or more of the World Polyamory Associationís transformational conferences and find what you seek in info, relationships and fun. 

At the Laguna Beach, CA Conference, Loving Beyond the Matrix, October 22-24, 2004 we explore new paradigm relating models beyond the traditional and create authentic relationships that encourage you to discover who you truly are. Honesty and truth lets you be yourself. Join us and continue your transformation.

Return To The Tribe, April 20-26, 2004 at Orange Springs Retreat, Florida, is a week-long experiment in conscious, intentional community. We have workshops and presentations but also relax and facilitate transformation on a personal level, a level achieved from a whole week of hanging out together.  After a week of immersing yourself in the process, with love, warm fuzzies and fun, we experience the possibilities of a poly-friendly world that works.

Join us June 17-19, 2005 at Harbin Hot Springs, CA as we Celebrate Relationship Choice.  Harbin has replaced the old Loving More Conference with the World Polyamory Association's Summer Conference.  We focus, at this year's Harbin Conference, on what we truly want for ourselves  We look inside, ask the right questions, adjust a few screws and get honest feedback from peers who love us, and as a result get a better idea of our options. We see our choices about how we love. We reprogram limits and introjected "shoulds"; we cut their chains from our psyches. Free at last, we find answers deep within our hearts.

Whether you join us for one or for all of our conferences, you can pick up your pace and actualize your potentials with the help of our professionals, the core team and your fellow relationship pioneers. Each of our processes, shared, accelerates everyone else's. Weíre ready to help humanity be its best.

Typically, 150 - 300 people attend our conferences, depending on the venue. However, we're looking to take this work to the next level, so we're exploring venues that hold up to 600.  If the Lifestyles Conferences can get 3,000 full-time attendees with 10,000 people going to the various events during the week of their conferences, we can certainly get 600 people interested in conscious committed relationships to show up and support the movement.

    We who gather at WPA conferences embrace relationship choice and more love.  We play ecstatically and, where needed, heal ourselves and each other. As we heal ourselves, we heal our relationships, communities, countries and world.  Workshops at our conferences focus on communication and spiritual growth as well as personal healing.  When we heal individually and in community, temporary or permanent, we catalyze the planet toward unity consciousness.

The energy we create together at our conferences affects the morphogenic field.  Groups who come together with a unified purpose change those around them when they create a field that affects the planetary field. Focused intention on love and healing actually change people and even things on a molecular level.

Join us as a planet shifter, either as a participant or one of our team of professionals.  All are welcome.


Join us for one or all of our conferences.  We designed The World Polyamory Association's conferences for you to enjoy as stand-alone events or as a series of conferences.  Whether you come to one conference or many, you'll get guided experiences-- experiences that awaken you spiritually, create partnership consciousness, connect you with lovers and contribute to planetary awakening.  

We've a team of lay and professional facilitators, seasoned experts and new contributors--including you--on polyamory, tantra, networking, multi-person dating, raising polys' children in the straight world, interpersonal communication, jealousy management, conflict resolution, nonviolent compassionate communication, sexual health, massage, ethics, fun, media relations, entertainment and political action facilitating relationship choice.  

We co-create conscious community with you as we maximize our bliss potential and support more love by loving more.  Here, now, we can show up fully, pay attention to what gives us meaning and feeling, share our truths without blame or judgment and do what we know is right in our hearts to transform negativity and create the highest good for all. 

A.  Southwest Regional Conference
Loving Beyond the Matrix
October 22-24, 2004
Southern CA : Aliso Creek Inn,
Laguna Beach (between LA and San Diego)

B.  Northwest Regional Conference
Celebrate Relationship Choice

June 17 - 19 2005
Northern CA: Harbin Hot Springs,
Middletown (north of San Francisco) 

C.  Southeast Regional Conference
Return To The Tribe: Weeklong Polyamorous Community
April 20-26, 2005 
Middle FL:
Orange Springs, Florida 

D.  Northeast Regional Conference 
Perfecting The Polyamory Paradigm
September 9-11, 2005



Friday Oct 22, 2004     Terrace Room 
9:00 AM - Registration Desk Opens
9:15 - 10:20 AM  Welcome, Orient to Polyamory Janet Kira Lessin & Dave Doleshal  

  Janet and Dave orient all to the conference. They, oldtimers and newcomers question each other and share experiences on deeper levels of simultaneous emotional connection with more than one romantic sexual partner.

9:30 - 11:00 AM   Pods for Intimate Community Sasha Lessin

We playĖfirst wordlessly. Then we talk and join small (6 -12 person) groups. Our group is our pod. Our pod supports us getting what we want at the conference and in life. Throughout the weekend, we talk with our pod mates about what we learn about poly loving.

       To prepare for experiences Shama, Don Kraig and Harold Kornylak lead, we imagine taking new lovers into our net.  We roleplay joining established lovers.  Tomorrow we report how we're doing fulfilling fantasies.

12: 30 - 1:30 PM 

1:30 - 2:30 PM Touch with Intention -  Les Nuckles 

     This presentation teaches people to touch and/or be present using focus and intention.  There's some lecture with lots of hands on time.  This workshop prepares attendees to get more from the workshops that follow and to be better able to connect with others.

2:30 - 3:30 PM How to Enter an Established Poly Relationship   Shama & Don Kraig

    Learn to be a successful third, fourth, or fifth wheel!  Navigating the waters smoothly when entering an established relationship can be rough.  Shama & Don reveal important pointers that make the journey easier. You learn the most important aspects of how to deal with exciting dynamics a new person brings; the wonders and the potential pitfalls. Learn to create balance and harmony in triads and beyond.  Explore practical skills including communication tools that can be used immediately to enhance and expand the quality of all your relationships

3:30 -4:30 PM On Agreements Dawn Davidson & Akien MacIain

     Agreements are one of the cornerstones of the poly lifestyle.  In their presentation, Akien and Dawn teach why agreement get broken, what to do to rebuild and make more effective agreements.

4:30 -5:30 PM The Bi-Poly Options for the 21st Century Ed Jor-El Elkin

    Explore bi-sexual polyamorous relationship in a safe and supportive environment. This workshop is for all levels of interest, especially for the Bi-Curious as well as the Bisexually experienced.  A theoretical and experiential guide to the Bi-Poly option with guided imagery, pair and multiple partner exercises. Using movement and dance, transformational theater and role-playing exercises with opposite sex and same sex partners, we explore the bi-poly option in fantasy and in "reality".

5:30 - 6:30 PM Dinner, Songs Sophia Songhealer

     Sophia's songs coronate archetypes of love, beauty, strength, joy, Compassion and wisdom to reign in our hearts.

6:45 - 7:00 PM Polyamory: Love Beyond The Matrix
Janet Kira Lessin

     Janet invites you to set aside who you think you are and reorganize brain cells and emerge from this conference, able to stand proud and say, "I'm polyamorous" and love beyond the matrix. 

7:00 - 8:30 PM Tantra Ritual for Polys
Sophia Songhealer

    Sophia's ceremonial songs move us through energy exchanges that uplift and support all-chakra connecting.

8:30 - 10:15 PM Beyond the Dance of Two Harold Kornylak

     An enduring, fulfilling two person partnership is rare enough, even most animals tend to pair bond, so is it totally impractical to think of expanding beyond the dyad, perhaps to 3, or 4? Well, for those who enjoy the challenge, lets explore some of the unique dynamics when more than 2 relate together. How do we keep a triad from being a pair plus one. Get some insight into your own relating styles and how compatible these styles are with going beyond the dyad. (Discussion and experiential exercises).

10:15 - midnight Tantric Polyamory   Shama & Don Kraig

     We frequently hear in the media how sex in relationships eventually becomes boring. Even some people in poly relationships often find themselves in a rut, doing the same old thing while getting lesser results. It doesnít have to be that way!  

    Through Tantra, you can experience NOW how to resurrect the passion and ecstasy in every aspect of your life as you expand your passion, your pleasure, and the depth of your intimacy beyond your wildest dreams!  Step into a new paradigm of love, of sex and of living.  Shama and Don Kraig guide you on this amazing exploration of awakening, consciousness and bliss.

Saturday Oct 23

7:30 - 8:30 AM Breakfast

9:30 - 11:00 AM How We Do Poly Janet Kira Lessin, Panel & Participants

     This is a very popular format and often the favorite part of the conference for many.  The panel is led by Janet Kira Lessin and includes polys of several varieties and everyone else who wishes to share how they make polyamory work for them.  The audience gets to ask question, so everyone's included.  Newbies get valuable answers to begin their poly lives.

11:00 AM - 12:30 AM Hawkins' Cosmology, Polyamory and You Anastas Harris & Steven Vogue

    This is a very popular format and often the favorite part of the conference for many.  The panel is led by Janet Kira Lessin and includes polys of several varieties and everyone else who wishes to share how they make polyamory work for them.  The audience gets to ask question, so everyone's included.  Newbies get valuable answers to begin their poly lives.

12:30 - 1:30 PM    Lunch

1:30 - 3:30 PM Resolve Poly Conflicts in a Tribe Ed Seykota

     Trading guru Ed Seykota shares his powerful method of group empathy and somatic anchoring to resolve inner conflicts and thereby ameliorate interpersonal tensions. Ed will work with your inner conflicts--jealousy, time-sharing, economic cooperation as regards polyamory and with any conflicting feelings that emerge. We might, for example, make somatic analogs of jealousy and insecurity issues, learn to enjoy these forms, find positive intentions for these forms, and then unify these forms into a radiant and peaceful center of operation. 

3:30 - 5:00 PM Manage Jealousy Dave Doleshal

5:00 - 6:00 PM Dinner

6:00 - 7:30 PM Pair Bonding, Romantic Love & Multiple Partner Sexuality Leanna Wolfe

Is serial monogamy the normal human mating pattern? How then do we explain other patterns including polygamy, polyamory, and swinging? To address these questions, we'll examine cross-cultural research on romantic passion as well as the brain chemistry of romantic love. Next we'll compare how the cultures of dating singles, swingers and polyamorists engage pairbonding and romantic love. We'll consider how singles focus on the differences between how women and men fall in love and evaluate making a pairbonded commitment.  Next we see how polyamory mitigates against jealousy by celebrating compersion and maintaining relationship hierarchies and how swinging culture largely teases up sexual attraction while reinforcing the strength of the marital bond. Wel reconsider the idea humans are serially monogamous. What keeps people swinging, or practicing open marriage, polygyny, polyandry and polyamory happy are the many different kinds of love they access simultaneously.

7:30 - 9:30 PM Intimate Erotic Photography & Poly Relationships Wilton Jones

9:30 -11:00 PM Hypnofantasy & Hypnomassage Terry & Paul Brussel-Gibbons & Marcus Brussel Jenkins

     Hypnosis demonstration shows you how to slay the green eyed monster, release sexual inhibitions which are no longer serving you, and how to share full body multiple orgasms with your partners. Bring your senses alive through guided fantasy, experience the delights of sensual/spiritual connection through orchestrated hypnomassage --for singles, dyads, triads and loving groups. Romantic music heightens the intimacy. 

11:00 - Midnight Sing, Dance & Party Sophia Songhealer

Sunday Oct 24 Green Room

9:00AM - 2:30PM
Living Compersion: An Experiential and Tantric Workshop Anastas Harris & Steven Vogue

In Compersion you're uplifted when your lover's uplifted through of love and sex he or she shares with others.  Accept that while your lovers love others you can feel pleasure, excitation and joy.  Compersion is essential to Polyamory.  Tantra, a spiritual path leading to compersion flows seamlessly into Polyamory. 

     In twos, fours and small groups, we move into compersion, tantra and polyamory--mentally, sensually, playfully or soulfully.  You either stretch boundaries or move into already extended boundaries with a variety of individuals or couples. We give you enriching and supportive situations to develop your compersionate nature.

Call 808-244-4103 to register or go to and click on Laguna Beach Conference.  


The World Polyamory Association seeks presenters and workshop facilitators for their conferences.  If you're interested in being considered as a presenter, please fill out this application form:  World Polyamory Association - Home