If you're bi-curious does it mean you're gay?  Is it ok to touch when you're in a group?  If you're gay can you be turned on by women?  Can you just like oral and not want anal?  Can you want anal sex and only want to use toys or digital play.  Can you be bisexual and monogamous?  Can you be tri-sexual, meaning you'll try anything sexual?  Can you love it all and not give a dam what others think?  

How can you set yourself free, free to be, who you really want to be?  How can you know who you really are and what you truly want when there's so many inputs and options?  What about shame, guilt, cultural conditioning and programming.  How does that affect you?  Can attitudes, fears and subconscious responses be overcome?   How do you know when you're rebelling or conforming to another's opinions and influence?  Where are you in the midst of all that?

Men love men.  They always have, probably always will.  Some are just more open about love between men than others.  Some are more accepting.  Others are quite reactive and even downright homophobic.  Today men who love men have to deal with all kinds of things, from the responses of others to one's own internal criticisms and judgments.  Cultural opinion can be powerful. Yet despite all, and because of it all, men love men.  Just like women love women and women and men love each other.

Pluralistic ignorance (many people doing one thing, (like exploring bisexual fantasies), while professing another (like being publicly heterosexual)), keeps society from getting accurate statistics on those who are bi-curious, bisexual or gay.   In our counseling practice and workshops/playshops on sexuality, relationships and tantra, Sasha and I have discovered a large, hidden population that is bi, bi-curious and/or gay and male.  Women, by far, feel more comfortable revealing their bi/gay side, which is understandable, as it's far more socially acceptable, especially in America.  Europeans seem to be more open and free in regards to their sexual choices. While all the information we uncover is confidential and we've not gathered any formal statistics, we assure you, if you're bi, bi-curious or gay, you're in very good company.  We just wonder if someday each of us can find the way to be free to be who we really are.  The truth will set all of us free.

      The Lessins counsel gay, lesbian, bisexual and heterosexual individuals and couples to chose what's right for them and make it work.  $150/hour.  808-244-4103.  Email: menlovemen@schooloftantra.com