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Janet
Kira Lessin: My husband, Dr. Sasha Lessin, and I
coach relationships. We meet many who struggle with
what they "should" do. Our society suffers
from pluralistic
ignorance, where they profess one behavior--monogamy--and
engage privately in another.
One
typical scenario: "I've been married 10 years, have 3
kids and my wife and I no longer make love. I'm
thinking of cheating but I love my wife. What do I do?"
Or: "My wife is bi-curious. We'd like to explore loving
with another woman. Where do we begin?"
Or: "My husband and I would like to find another couple to love,
yet must be discreet due to our jobs. Can you help?"
Many no longer fit the monogamous, nuclear family of the last century. Sometimes
they feel trapped and
that they lack alternatives. Many feel guilty they
haven't achieved happiness in monogamy. They resort to
secrecy and deceit; they dull pain with
drugs, alcohol, materialism, over-eating and workaholism.
They hurt family, friends, community and themselves.
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