|
POLYAMORY:
THE MORE LOVING PERSPECTIVE
Dr. Sasha (Alex) Lessin
& Janet Kira Lessin
RELEASE
EMOTIONS IN POLYAMOROUS LOVING
Sasha Lessin,
Ph.D.
Reprogram
problems relating poly and pare pernicious imprints perpetrated by
parents, religion and contemporary society and produce the Pearls
of Poly.
We attract
people who enact our inchoate, underdeveloped, suppressed,
despised or otherwise disowned aspects, inner voices, shadow
subselves and hated habits. We see in those we attract what we
admire and what we dislike in ourselves. Our lovers reflect parts
we need to accept, honor and enjoy to feel whole.
Use
difficulties with each other to deepen our intimacy. Difficulties
lead to emotional growth and deeper intimacy when we work through
them. Discuss and resolve them or, if the difficulties seem
unsolvable, relive and change past scripts and see opportunities
inherent in the difficulty.
Keep the
valuable learning and the adaptive inner voices we developed to
cope with the situation that fueled your upset.
Process
upsets as they occur. When my mate, Janet, or someone we’re
loving feels upset, we stop sex and focus on the upset person and
ask what we can do for her. If she’s still upset, we ask her to
respond aloud to each of the cue sentences below. You can use
these cues to move from upset to more intimacy in similar
circumstances.
Recall
earlier–especially childhood--times or invoke past life images
that resonate with the upset you’re having with me [or ?].
Describe the earlier, similar situation your recall or imagine.
Relive the
upset; feel your body and emotions as you did then.
Express
your feelings to the people involved as though they’re here.
What
decisions did you make? How have those decisions served you?
What inner
voice developed to protect you? Sit in a different place and
roleplay that inner voice. Say how you still serve her.
What,
Protective Voice, would you like her to appreciate you for.
What,
Voice, is your concern in the upset she’s having now with me [or
?]?
Return to
your Center.
Tell me
specific things I [or ?] can
do right now to help you heal some of the hurt that amplified the
difficulty you had.
I
commit to ... [complete aloud] to help you heal the
hurt you shared.
Tell me
ways you, when centered, can coordinate the needs of your
protective, vulnerable and instinctual voices in situations like
the one you just had difficulties with.
Consciously
consider aloud and say how you choose to relate to me [or
?].
|
Return
to Polyamory Main Page
