Not everyone’s blessed to have a husband who’s a psychological counselor, highly trained and prepared for a wounded child like me--a spouse who’s both a tantra master and has been polyamorous all his life. Sasha knew how to lead me, with the love, patience and kindness I needed to give birth to the me I always wanted to be without going crazy or suiciding. Thank God I had the wisdom to follow his gentle guidance.

Sasha brought me back from the deepest depth of despair. He helped me recover from two long-term, failed monogamous marriages and a four-year, extremely dysfunctional live-in relationship with an alcoholic. I’d given up on love and life. I decided to become celibate. I felt I could not endure the pain of love even one moment more. I believed I was simply too screwed up to ever have a successful relationship. Maybe next lifetime, but this one was surely over, especially in the arena of love. All I had to do was coast on through death’s door gently held open by my parent’s who were preparing to proceed me. I was ready. I thought I was going home.

The Universe had other plans. When I least expected it, I met Sasha. I am in awe, truly blessed by the miracle that God and the forces of divine love brought to me in the dark night of my soul.

Almost two weeks later living with the results of Lionel and Jacqueline’s tryst, I think I would have lost it but luckily I can observe from a place where I’m firmly grounded, securely rooted by the love of my life. After six years of loving intentions and intensive therapy, I’m home, in my sweet husband’s arms, his loving embrace comforts me while all around me stormy relationships rage.

I feel such pain around love’s process when I see people project onto one another models of the "way to be" then suffer when no one can possibly be it. I despair when I see the horrid games they play on one another, with shoulds, judgments, analysis and attempts to fix one another, pointing fingers when the best place to look is within oneself.

For two weeks I’ve listened, counseled and consoled. Enough!

Okay, to each his own. Laisse faire, Laisse passe. Each path is perfect for the progress of each soul, each moment. Who am I to rob someone of the richness they must feel with the full expression of their emotions and the melodrama that results?

I, outside of it all, witness and prepare for adventures ahead. Sasha and I are off to see the wonderful, wise wizard of love as we begin our odyssey in the wild world of poly dating, mating, relating and co-creating. This summer we plan to date four couples we’ve been flirting with. We’ve pruned our list to these pairs and remain open to other possibilities. I’m excited.

I think Sash and I’ve stumbled into the most fun and exciting formula for love, bliss, joy and passion. We stumbled onto it or we’re pure geniuses. Together we play, laugh and cry tears of bliss and joy. We bring home to each other the energy and excitement we feel with others. Sasha and I stay together, connect next to each other. We titillate and tantrically touch as one as we move energies. We ride the passions of the sacred geometry of our group gestalt. Sometimes I’m afraid someone may pinch me and I’ll wake up, it’s all so juicy, rich and downright good.

Armed with creams and condoms, STD test results and HIV saliva test kits, We’re ready to sit down face-to-face, eye-to-eye, cheek-to-cheek in sacred rituals, look deep into hearts, minds and souls, merge, meld and become one with many. Super-charged unified chakras awaken kundalini. Blood pulses, bodies pulsate. Breath shared; synchronized, syncopated. Energy streams, rushes, races simultaneously through all bodies. Crown chakras unite, explode over our heads as a giant lotus blossom rains a thousand white petals upon us. Showered in golden white light, waves of orgiastic pleasure consume and caress us. We awaken fully, pierce the veil and witness the meta-cosmic void. Unity consciousness here we come. Free at last, Lord Almighty, free at last. Gee it’s good to be back home again.