I believe it's time to bring this into the light. I am driven by my love of humanity. My pain meets your pain and my joy seeks to dance with your joy. It is only by going through the fire, like a Phoenix rising, that we can find truth. And once that is revealed, then the truth will set ALL of us free.

Yesterday our triad took a moment to reflect on our month together. Sasha and Jennie have been holding themselves back, not acting on impulses because I would feel uncomfortable if I were left out and not included. I acknowledged and appreciated that they exhibited such restraint. I, what I believe is my center, sees all the parts of me. Part of me is joyous, in total empathy (or what we call compersion in the polyamory movement), when I see Sasha and Jennie love, kiss, hug and make love. However, a few weeks ago, my Inner Child collapsed in fear and panic. I was as helpless and Jennie and Sasha as I watched myself sink into a well of despair. And I am not sure right now what I can get to calm my Inner Child's discomfort and allow her to meet this situation with the joy and love that the rest of me feels.

Oh my poor walking, wounded Inner Child. When will she ever find total peace? I've named my Inner Child, Janney Banney, after the affectionate nickname my father gave me when I was very small. "Janet the Bandit, she stole my heart away", Dad would say as he held me upside down on his lap and looked into my eyes.

I looked again at the two of them. They held space, love pouring forth from both of them. Tears flowed freely down my face as we opened ourselves even more to one another. "I guess there's really six of us here: not only the three of us but each of our inner children," I said. "So how can I make each of us feel safe, feel more comfortable, feel the love that I give?"

That rhetorical question needed no actual answer in the moment. Time will reveal more as we proceed. The invitation is there for any of us at any time to express our thoughts, feelings, emotions and desires. We've become a three-way biofeedback system. My beautiful mirrors show me what I need to pay attention to. Their reflection is honest.

For myself and my healing, I know I only need to internalize the love they shower on me. I think that time is the element that will allow me to integrate the love that already exists.

I know if I honor my mirrors and heed what I am getting then I'm well on my way to the spiritual growth and evolution I seek. While maybe I'll never achieve true perfection here on this planet, I can become more and more conscious, take personal responsibility for my thoughts, deeds and actions and stop inflicting my dysfunction on others.

Our family’s expanding. October 1st we’ll be joined by Juan, Cindy and Caileigh. We're so excited that they are joining us. We welcome the love and adventure. We also have others who want to join us. Some want only the moment, to mix energies, stories, love and joy while others seek longer connections as students, teachers, clients, seminar attendees, party participants, lovers and community members. They are all intriguing. I wonder who'll get on the plane? I wonder who'll chose to stay?

It’s my deepest hope that our new model for family and paradigm for relating will open the world to honor the very deep and personal choices that each individual makes from their hearts for relating and connecting to others. Each path to source, to whatever we perceive as God is unique and valuable for all of us to view.

My family and our trials and tribulations are but a microcosm of all that exists. Nothing in the human condition is alien to me or mine. My internal strife unhealed reflects externally and thus affects all around me. As within, so without. As above, so below. My personal wounds are no greater or no less than yours. My story is universal. As I heal I heal those around me. Same goes for each of us. As we each own our reactions and heal ourselves, we are in affect healing the planet. Every internal conflict resolved affects the morphogenic field and shifts us to an alternative reality of peace, away from the model of war that we are being offered right now.

Since I am a social being, I chose my family as my place of healing and evolution. I know with the love and support of others around me who share the consciousness vision, that I can live authentically from my deepest personal truth to become my personal best and give the most I can in the short while I have to dance on this planet. I invite you to look at your hearts. What do you find? If so moved, I welcome your answers.

SASHA: I’m so grateful for Jennie. Since she’s come to us, we’ve played, laughed and enjoyed ecstatic group sex more often. The three of us problem-solve and work more smoothly than Janet and I have in years. Jennie stays clear and centered and her few words of neutral observation help us return in mere moments to love and cooperation when Janet and I destabilize into soured interaction that would otherwise have lasted hours. A few days ago, Jennie asked me "Who pissed in your cornflakes," when I snapped at Janet. Her comment snapped me back into awareness and I was able to apologize and talk about what was really bugging me, stuff that had nothing to do with Janet. Jennie brings us back to love.

Jennie’s here to meet needs of Janet’s–like her needs for constant companionship and shopping for fun-- I was unable to meet well and, of course, her need for woman-woman sex–I was unable to meet at all. This is just what I’d theoretically preached in my writing, on the Leeza Show, Inside Edition, Extra and Love Phones: polyamory provides people to meet each other’s needs better than the isolated nuclear family. Since Jennie’s come, I no longer have to struggle with Janet’s need for constant company each day and get away and swim, ride my bike, hike my mountain or go to the gym. Janet’s got Jennie to work and play with while I’m gone. Jenn even swims with me too.

And Jennie’s easing Janet’s fear of loss of intimacy as our family expands even further. Janet had been apprehensive (as well as excited) that Juan, Cindy and Caileigh will join us in three weeks. After the journeywork and loving we did yesterday, Janet knows we’ll never abandon her and looks forward to even more love, attention and satisfaction.

JENNIE: I'm the third. Number three. The outsider. Breaking into this strong dyadic conscious stream. I look for my break-like a sperm attacking an egg-tail flagellating. Yet knowing full well I am the one to fertilize this waiting ripe ovum that has been waiting for my love. Breaking through all barriers. Yes-Please be the one! Be strong enough to come inside our vulnerable lives-to love and live. Transcend our spiritual egg-cause life to unfold-yes, I'm still here.

One month later-yes, I am still here and learning the intricacies of my beloveds. We have had this full month alone without other community members* to get to know one another and form the bonds-mine to Janet-mine to Sasha-and our three together. It has been wonderful, interesting intense and a month long honeymoon. We stretch and purr with the kitties while having tea at our early morning check in where we analyze our dreams and plan our day. We share our thoughts, needs and desires while our energies meld and soar as it becomes it's own entity with it's own intuition. The triad seems to take it's own loving course now with no forced movements.

I came to this relationship with such a newfound emotional freedom and strong calming spirit. This was such a welcome addition that was easily woven in. I felt their needs so strongly. Their intensity was off the scale at times. I just had to step back, gather my thoughts-close my eyes-then laugh out loud because I swear I heard the pitty- patter of Janet's inner child's feet run by. For through the intensity, their love and joy is just as strong and my commitment, love and devotion bring me back to center and I am at peace again.