|
My current husband, Sasha, is my third; nothing
like a first and second to really appreciate a third.
Sash and I met late in life, me 43, he 57; supposedly too old
for romance and definitely way beyond the age where we could
find “the One”. Yet we actually managed to find that magical one
in the midst of exploring polyamory, the path of loving more
than one.
I found Sasha in my dark night of the soul–my parents dying,
relationships ending, jobs not working–poor time, you’d think,
to start a relationship. But since Sasha’s a shrink, he was the
best possible match for me at just the right time. And though
when we met I seemed most wounded, he hurt too from ending his
12 year marriage to Joan. The wounded healer and the woman in
her soul’s dark night; perfect for each other. We took turns as
healer and healee and dealt as a team with the challenges of
polyamory. We enjoyed working through our intense passions as a
polyamorous pair, as a result, bonded more firmly to one
another.
Sash and I cherish our intense passion. To the degree we feel
and therapeutically express it all, including pain, we can feel
pleasure too. We communicate our needs and request each other’s
support. We express our hurts and subsequently heighten our
highs. In our highs, we and our lovers experience unity
consciousness. We each devote ourselves to love each other
forever. We know we’re ancient souls experiencing life umpteenth
together and this time it’s rich and fulfilling. We’re strong,
stable, secure with one another and feel our unity. Twin flames,
we can be angry, real, authentic, experience all emotions, dark
and light and open our eyes to see our lover’s still there.
We’re a two-headed amoeba; we know we’re one and when we get
down to it, how can we really leave ourself?
Sasha and I have witnessed each other--good, bad and ugly–and
remain firm, committed to deconstruction necessary to rise from
our separate self senses to dyadic consciousness. We select our
options together as though we were a single organism. We avoid
of hurting each other. We hold space, openheartedly give and
take feedback.
When Sash tells me he’s reacting uncomfortably to my behavior
(or I say how I’m reacting to his), we go beneath our cultural
conditioning and ask what we really need from each other. We
honor each other’s intelligence and spiritual intimations and
love and support one another through thick and thin.
Every day, Sasha and I make love. I lie atop him, so our chakras
touch, look in each other’s eyes, remember our oneness. We
synchronize our breath, share breath, breathe as One. We move
our energies, connect and love with all our hearts, minds and
souls.
When we engage with others, we’re real. We express our concerns,
hesitations and reservations before we go into a situation. We
support one another and never allow others to talk ill of our
partner. We discuss what comes to mind during and after the
love-in. We allow us to interrupt, even if we’re in the midst of
making love with another. We trust the other’s instincts, that
they’re in alignment for the highest good for both of us, so
interruptions are gifts that allow us to create better systems
that work for all. Our partner takes priority, always, over all
other things.
When others want to share physical intimacy with us, I interview
them and make sure their agenda is not cutting Sash or me out of
the poly herd to take us off to monogamy with them. Monogamy’s
great, fine for those who want it, but has no room in a
polyamorous love-in. I insure us with the necessary medical
screening, against disease. We negotiate so no one gets pregnant
from our lovemaking. Sasha and I align in our experiment in
unity consciousness, so if someone’s vibing or creating a
situation that’s not in alignment with the vision, I point it
out. I request specific behaviors from Sash, so he needn’t guess
what I think.
I make sure Sasha gets his exercise every day; I know how
important that is to him.
Some mornings I wake to Sasha’s wonderful morning woody and jump
his bones before we get out of bed. Since we make our own
schedules, we can break anytime, reconnect, make love when we
feel it. We co-created this life together. This lifestyle
maximizes time for love and pleasure. We live on Maui, a place
we both love, warm with a clean environment that keeps us
healthy.
We share our dreams and ask how to support one another each
morning. Our dreams deliver messages for healing. Through dream
analysis we discover solutions for life’s problems. At the end
of the day we align chakras, look into each other’s eyes. We
share our experiences that day, especially how we feel. Then we
make love.
Sasha makes love to me when I have my period . In my past, I’d
felt hurt when other lovers rejected me just because I was
shedding menstrual blood. Sasha and I, however, consider
lovemaking then as a powerful time where I’m more psychic,
intuitive and aware of answers not accessible during times when
I’m not flowing. We see all our lovemaking as divine and sacred.
I trained my husband to be a better domestic partner. He loves
being socialized to meet higher standards of cleanliness,
housekeeping and health that serve both of us and eventually
every member of our poly family. He now knows how to keep the
counter clean. I teach him how to take good care of me. He loves
to serve me and I let him bring me breakfast (which is a big
turn-on for him). In return, he makes behavioral requests and I
grant them if they’re within my integrity. I know that when I
give him what he wants I give myself a happier partner. Sasha
loves to ride his bike, go to the gym and get plenty of
exercise. So I create a schedule that lets him exercise and he’s
much happier, healthier and more centered as a result. In the
end giving and receiving are the same; requests of service from
each other give us harmony and balance.
Sasha loves to kiss, lick and fondle my yoni and I let him
whenever he wants to. We never reject one another sexually but
if we’re tired or in pain, we say so and agree to connect
sexually as soon as we can--usually the next day. We don’t make
a big deal out of erections, lack thereof, vaginal wetness or
dryness and since we don’t make a big deal of these things,
they’re never issues. We recognize a healthy sex binds
relationships, especially ours. Healthy sex life promotes
overall bodily and emotional health as well as longevity. When
we connect sexually, share energy and have orgasms we’re more
centered, balanced; our hormones hum. As a result of regular
good sex, I’ve never suffered from PMS. When we make love
frequently and on a regular basis, my menopause symptoms
disappear.
We love each other completely and desire to live as long as
possible. We truly enjoy every breath, every moment together.
We’re best friends. We tell each other everything. No secrets.
That feels so good, to be totally honest with another person.
This level of honesty has healed me on a deep level. I feel free
to be witnessed and accepted for who I truly am.
When love others, Sasha and I share our abundant love for each
other with them. We seek unity consciousness with special
friends and enjoy loving them while we stay devoted to each
other. So, together, as a pair with love to share, we engage our
special friends sexually.
We have our cake and eat it too. We relate with those who love
seeing us love each other and want to be a part of our juicy,
warm and loving energy. We recognize the love we feel for one
another that overflows to others we love is divine and
spiritual, the love we feel when we are one with God and the
Universe.
When I look in Sasha's eyes, I see all the way home to Source.
Our love’s so deep that my tears well, flow down my face in
streams of bliss. I’m blessed to have found such profound love.
We encourage you to find such love.
Open your heart to love and invite it in. Appreciate love in the
form it shows. If you appreciate love however it comes then it
eventually comes in the form you appreciate. That’s what
happened to me.
Third husband’s a charm. |
