Janet Kira Lessin
answer your questions.
Advisors | Alternative
Relationships | Counseling,
Coaching & Therapy
and puzzled? Need advice. Send an email to WorldPolyamory@aol.com
with Advice in the subject line and your
question or situation in the main body of the
email. Everything is confidential.
Please feel free to use a pseudonym.
poly counselors with over 30 years experience in the
field, Dr. Sasha and Janet Kira Lessin answer your
questions online or in person. They use a wide
variety of psycho-technologies (Counseling,
Coaching & Therapy). The Lessins are
available for phone consultations as well as in person.
Sasha and Janet live on Maui, Hawaii where many come to
heal, relax and free themselves from programming that
limits their life force. S & J frequently
travel and present at the World Polyamory Association
Conferences and many other
conferences around the world. They also coordinate
the WPA conferences with their team of poly
professionals. The Lessins would be delighted to
do a session with you during their visit to your part of
They may be reached at 808-244-4921, Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
MIDWESTERNER wrote, “What would happen
if my wife opened herself up emotionally or if we
agreed to allow each other to be more emotionally
attached. Would I later desire the other woman more or
she desire the other man more or some other
conflicting combination of feelings?
JANET: My husband, Sasha, and I were
blessed to fall in love with a very special couple.
Our commitment to each other was so total and
complete, and the other couple was so devoted to each
other, there was never any doubt that we'd remain
involved with our primary partners while loving all
the way around.
There did come a point where my love
for the other woman felt threatening to the other man,
so they withdrew from us and are no longer involved
with us. And yes, ouch, that hurt. But, I'd do it all
again, because the love I felt and the love we all
felt will always be. I have the love, I have the
memories and I have the model that LOVING MORE THAN
ONE REALLY WORKS.
Many couples do move into deep sexual
and emotional intimacy and some
experience feelings in varying degrees and intensity
over the course of the relationship with their new
partners. It's part of the thrill, part of learning
how to love. We feel what we feel. Feelings ARE. They
are often uncontrollable and seem to have a life of
their own. Some couples, especially couples that
engage in swinging, pledge emotional fidelity with one
another. But realistically we feel what we feel. We
can however make agreements and honor them and do
certain behaviors, like REMAIN HONEST IN OUR
COMMUNICATION, STAY TOGETHER; NEVER ABANDON ONE
ANOTHER, no matter what we feel for other partners.
Couples make commitments to stay
together no matter what, work out the dynamics of
relating with others and RIDE THE WAVE OF EMOTIONS.
There may be some risk, but it sounds as if you are
both very much in love with one another, committed and
devoted, secure enough that you'll remain true and
you'll LEARN, GROW, EXPAND AND REMAIN TOGETHER no
PO Box 2973
Wailuku, Maui, HI 96793
2004-2009 [World Polyamory Association]. All rights reserved.
Revised: March 01, 2011